IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that it is good for spending money on finding life on other planets, while others believe it is a waste and governments should focus on problems on the earth. Discuss both views and give your opinions.

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The question of whether
governments
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 should prioritize funding
space
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exploration
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 or address pressing
issues
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 on Earth is a complex one that sparks heated debate.
While
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 some advocate for the
pursuit
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 of extraterrestrial life as a means of expanding our knowledge and ensuring humanity's future, others argue that addressing the challenges we face at home should take precedence.
While
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 the
pursuit
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 of new knowledge is undoubtedly important, it is crucial that
governments
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 prioritize their citizens' needs. Advocates for
space
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exploration
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 argue that it is a vital undertaking for both scientific advancement and the long-term survival of humanity. They highlight the potential benefits of discovering new resources, understanding the universe, and potentially finding habitable planets.
For instance
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, the discovery of new life forms could lead to breakthroughs in medicine and technology.
Moreover
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, investing in
space
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exploration
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 can inspire future generations, fostering innovation and scientific curiosity. An investment in
this
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 field could result in the development of groundbreaking technologies with applications in diverse fields, including medicine, energy, and communication.
However
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, opponents of extensive
space
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exploration
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 argue that it is a luxury that
governments
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 cannot afford when grappling with pressing
issues
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 on Earth. They point to the urgent need to address poverty, hunger, disease, and climate change. These challenges require immediate attention and investment, and diverting resources to
space
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exploration
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 could come at the expense of essential social programs and humanitarian aid.
For example
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, funds spent on a single
space
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 mission could provide healthcare for thousands of people or clean water for millions.
Furthermore
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, the resources and expertise used for
space
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exploration
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 could be redirected to tackling pressing
issues
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 like pollution, climate change, and energy security. In conclusion,
while
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space
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exploration
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 is a fascinating and potentially beneficial
pursuit
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, it is imperative that
governments
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 prioritize addressing the pressing needs of their citizens. Poverty, hunger, disease, and climate change are urgent
issues
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 that demand immediate attention and investment.
While
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space
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exploration
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 may hold long-term promise, it is a luxury that should not come at the expense of meeting the basic needs of our population.
Governments
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 must strike a balance, ensuring that critical social and environmental concerns are not neglected in the
pursuit
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 of scientific discovery.

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task achievement
To further enhance your essay, consider adding a few more specific examples and statistics to support your arguments. This will make your points more compelling and concrete.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining your transitions between paragraphs to ensure they are even smoother. While your essay is already cohesive, even better transitions can make it flow seamlessly.
coherence cohesion
The essay provides a well-organized and logical structure, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Each viewpoint is discussed in a separate paragraph, which enhances readability and coherence.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views comprehensively and provides a balanced discussion. The arguments are clear, well-developed, and supported with relevant examples.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and reiterates your stance, which helps reinforce the overall argument.
coherence cohesion
The essay demonstrates a good command of language with varied sentence structures and appropriate vocabulary, contributing to overall clarity and persuasiveness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Space exploration
  • Extraterrestrial life
  • Technological advancements
  • Investment in the future
  • Immediate problems
  • Poverty alleviation
  • Healthcare system
  • Educational resources
  • Fiscal responsibility
  • Cost-effectiveness
  • Sustainable investments
  • Funding allocation
  • Interplanetary research
  • Cosmic curiosity
  • Global challenges
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