In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this is the case? Do you think this is a psitive or negative situation?

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Having a home
instead
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of renting is very necessary in some specific countries because of high inflation and increases in the
cost
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of rent. I think
this
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is a negative
situation
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because some
people
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's financial wealth is down. Turning to the first question, inflation is increasing every year and the
cost
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of everything is growing. Increasing the costs is the main reason for moving
people
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to another
house
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because
house
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prices improve and
people
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have to pay more for the
house
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that they were in but the
people
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who have their own home do not have to move so they are more relaxed and safe.
For example
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, those who do not have a
house
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of their own must pay more amount their income for a
house
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and always be prepared to moving another
house
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which is an exhausting
situation
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for them
however
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,
people
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who have their own home do not have to experience
this
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situation
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. So having a
house
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is a force for
people
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in some countries. Paying for houses for some
people
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is too hard. Some
people
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are poorer than can afford in inflation and they have to change their lifestyle. When the
cost
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of renting houses improved some
people
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had to move into poor neighbourhoods which left them too hard and they had to eat less and buy less so their quality of life decreased causing a lot of problems.
For example
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, the
cost
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that
people
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pay for a
house
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can pay for some important things
that is
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doing workouts and eating good food when
people
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can not do
this
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their
life time
Correct your spelling
lifetime
show examples
is spent just on solving some basic problem
that is
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not good at all. In conclusion, in some countries is better for
people
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to have their own
house
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also
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this
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is a very bad
situation
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. The government must do some measurements before gets too late.
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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating what the essay will discuss. You can briefly outline your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your paragraphs flow logically and that you use transitional words and phrases effectively. This will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are fully developed. You can do this by providing more detailed explanations or examples.
general
Polish grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage for better clarity and precision in expressing ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively identified some key reasons for why owning a home might be more important than renting in certain countries, such as inflation and increasing costs.
task achievement
Your essay covers both aspects of the question as required: explaining why owning a home is important and discussing whether it is a positive or negative situation.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
conclusion
You've concluded the essay by summarizing your viewpoint and suggesting possible actions that could be taken, which adds depth to your argument.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • homeownership
  • renting
  • real estate appreciation
  • financial investment
  • equity
  • security
  • stability
  • landlord
  • eviction
  • social status
  • cultural expectations
  • long-term savings
  • asset
  • personalization
  • tenancy agreements
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