In some countries, owning a home rather than renting one is very important for people. Why might be this is the case? Do you think this is a psitive or negative situation?
Having a home
instead
of renting is very necessary in some specific countries because of high inflation and increases in the cost
of rent. I think this
is a negative situation
because some people
's financial wealth is down.
Turning to the first question, inflation is increasing every year and the cost
of everything is growing. Increasing the costs is the main reason for moving people
to another house
because house
prices improve and people
have to pay more for the house
that they were in but the people
who have their own home do not have to move so they are more relaxed and safe. For example
, those who do not have a house
of their own must pay more amount their income for a house
and always be prepared to moving another house
which is an exhausting situation
for them however
, people
who have their own home do not have to experience this
situation
. So having a house
is a force for people
in some countries.
Paying for houses for some people
is too hard. Some people
are poorer than can afford in inflation and they have to change their lifestyle. When the cost
of renting houses improved some people
had to move into poor neighbourhoods which left them too hard and they had to eat less and buy less so their quality of life decreased causing a lot of problems. For example
, the cost
that people
pay for a house
can pay for some important things that is
doing workouts and eating good food when people
can not do this
their life time
is spent just on solving some basic problem Correct your spelling
lifetime
that is
not good at all.
In conclusion, in some countries is better for people
to have their own house
also
this
is a very bad situation
. The government must do some measurements before gets too late.Submitted by TUTOO on
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task achievement
Improve the introduction by clearly stating what the essay will discuss. You can briefly outline your points.
coherence cohesion
Make sure that your paragraphs flow logically and that you use transitional words and phrases effectively. This will enhance coherence.
task achievement
Ensure that all your main points are fully developed. You can do this by providing more detailed explanations or examples.
general
Polish grammatical accuracy and vocabulary usage for better clarity and precision in expressing ideas.
task achievement
You have effectively identified some key reasons for why owning a home might be more important than renting in certain countries, such as inflation and increasing costs.
task achievement
Your essay covers both aspects of the question as required: explaining why owning a home is important and discussing whether it is a positive or negative situation.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
conclusion
You've concluded the essay by summarizing your viewpoint and suggesting possible actions that could be taken, which adds depth to your argument.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite