Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

Some believe that teaching

children

how to be acceptable members of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is

parents

' responsibility and I think it is the best way because juveniles spend a lot of

time

at home.

However

, others state that the best place to learn is the school as teachers do that more effectively. On the one hand, some state that teaching

children

to be good members of

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society is best done in schools.

This

is because teachers in education institutes have specialized skills to educate juveniles in an effective manner. Educators know how to approach a child regarding specific matters and how to correct them successfully.

Therefore

, many prefer schools to educate their

children

For example

, institutes which are highly focused on

children

's behaviour and manners have risen in number in recent days

due to

excess demand and high success rates.

However

, some believe that teaching

children

to be better people in society is

parents'

Correct article usage

the parents'

show examples

job as they spend more

time

at home. It is easy to teach and correct

children

when you have more

time

around them.

Parents

have the opportunity to be with their

children

more than anyone else and to guide them with social manners and

also

correct them whenever necessary.

Furthermore

children

pick up many manners from their

parents

thus

they can always influence them in a positive way.

For instance

, a recently published survey showed that a significant number of

children

tend to act and behave as their

parents

thus

proving

parents

have a bigger effect on

children

. In conclusion, some believe that

parents

should educate their

children

on how to be better people

while

others think that schools should do it. In my opinion, even though teachers have better skills, I think

parents

should do the educating as

children

spend more

time

with them and they can influence

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

more easily.

Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on Fri Jul 19 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Nevertheless, strive for smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance overall readability.

task achievement

While you provide some examples, aim to include more specific, detailed examples to strengthen your arguments further. This will help illustrate your points more convincingly.

task achievement

Your ideas are generally clear, but try to elaborate them a bit more to ensure they are fully comprehensive. Adding more depth to your arguments will enrich your essay.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion, contributing to a strong finish.

task achievement

The essay comprehensively addresses both views of the discussion prompt, showing a balanced approach to the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have structured your essay well, with a clear separation of ideas into paragraphs, making it easy to follow.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

307 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

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Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

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