Some people think that parents should teach their children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the best place to learn this. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Some believe that teaching
children
how to be acceptable members of Use synonyms
the
society is Correct article usage
apply
parents
' responsibility and I think it is the best way because juveniles spend a lot of Use synonyms
time
at home. Use synonyms
However
, others state that the best place to learn is the school as teachers do that more effectively.
On the one hand, some state that teaching Linking Words
children
to be good members of Use synonyms
the
society is best done in schools. Correct article usage
apply
This
is because teachers in education institutes have specialized skills to educate juveniles in an effective manner. Educators know how to approach a child regarding specific matters and how to correct them successfully. Linking Words
Therefore
, many prefer schools to educate their Linking Words
children
. Use synonyms
For example
, institutes which are highly focused on Linking Words
children
's behaviour and manners have risen in number in recent days Use synonyms
due to
excess demand and high success rates.
Linking Words
However
, some believe that teaching Linking Words
children
to be better people in society is Use synonyms
Use synonyms
parents'
job as they spend more Correct article usage
the parents'
time
at home. It is easy to teach and correct Use synonyms
children
when you have more Use synonyms
time
around them. Use synonyms
Parents
have the opportunity to be with their Use synonyms
children
more than anyone else and to guide them with social manners and Use synonyms
also
correct them whenever necessary. Linking Words
Furthermore
, Linking Words
children
pick up many manners from their Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
thus
they can always influence them in a positive way. Linking Words
For instance
, a recently published survey showed that a significant number of Linking Words
children
tend to act and behave as their Use synonyms
parents
Use synonyms
thus
proving Linking Words
parents
have a bigger effect on Use synonyms
children
.
In conclusion, some believe that Use synonyms
parents
should educate their Use synonyms
children
on how to be better people Use synonyms
while
others think that schools should do it. In my opinion, even though teachers have better skills, I think Linking Words
parents
should do the educating as Use synonyms
children
spend more Use synonyms
time
with them and they can influence Use synonyms
on
Change preposition
apply
children
more easily.Use synonyms
Submitted by lithmakumaradasa on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Nevertheless, strive for smoother transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance overall readability.
task achievement
While you provide some examples, aim to include more specific, detailed examples to strengthen your arguments further. This will help illustrate your points more convincingly.
task achievement
Your ideas are generally clear, but try to elaborate them a bit more to ensure they are fully comprehensive. Adding more depth to your arguments will enrich your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and provides a clear opinion, contributing to a strong finish.
task achievement
The essay comprehensively addresses both views of the discussion prompt, showing a balanced approach to the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have structured your essay well, with a clear separation of ideas into paragraphs, making it easy to follow.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.