In many countries, crime rates amongst young people have been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

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It seems that young criminals have increased these days throughout the world for several reasons.

While

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this

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is a serious problem, I firmly believe that there would be causes and it can certainly be solved in some ways. The primary cause of increasing juvenile

crime

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rates is that they can easily access

crime

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due to

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the technology development. The advantage of technology results in new types of offending and young individuals are exposed to online offending without any barriers. Another cause is that drug addicts tend to engage young people in criminal activities.

According to

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recent research, a number of teenagers are not only involved in drug distribution, they are actually having drugs themselves. It can lead to many drug offenders and serious problems in the United States.

However

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, there are some solutions to

this

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issue. One of the ways to reduce youth

crime

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is that the government should promote the campaign and provide educational programs. Through providing case studies, young people learn how bad it is. Another solution is to strengthen the penalty.

This

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can lead young individuals in the right direction and work effectively. An appropriate example of

this

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is the punishment in Singapore, which has a very strong penalty policy. By giving strong punishment, the offending rates have been significantly reduced not only for old offenders but young criminals.

Therefore

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, it can prevent the possibility of criminal reoffending. In conclusion,

it is clear that

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crime

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rates amongst the young generation have been rising as teenagers are exposed to online

crime

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, it is evident that it can be resolved by giving strong punishment, providing a proper education and promoting educational campaigns to young individuals.

hmhy0326Sat Jul 20 2024

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task response

Expand on some of your points with more specific details and examples. For instance, mention specific ways technology contributes to crime.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. For example, better connect the causes mentioned to the solutions proposed.

coherence cohesion

Consolidate your arguments to enhance strength. Instead of general statements, use concrete examples, statistics, or facts where possible.

task response

The essay clearly identifies multiple causes of youth crime and proposes plausible solutions.

coherence cohesion

A well-structured introduction and conclusion neatly encapsulate the main arguments.

coherence cohesion

The writing shows clear and comprehensive ideas, with logical flow from one point to the next.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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7
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

276 words

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In many countries, crime rates amongst young people have been rising. Discuss the causes and solutions for this problem.

Your opinion

Some people think that having a set retirement age (e.g. 65 years) for everybody, regardless of occupation, is unfair. They believe that certain workers deserve to retire and receive a pension at an earlier age. Do you agree or disagree?

Many children no longer read books and instead spend their time using modern technology. While some people think this is a positive trend, others think it is a problem. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

These days mobile phones and the internet are very important to the ways in which people relate to one another socially. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people think that activities during the free time should be planned while others disagree. Discuss both sides and include examples and relevant data from your own experience

Schools should use films, computers and games instead of books.