IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#governments #progress #people #country
Most politicians commonly believe that the
development
 of a
country
 in various aspects would be feasible if economic progression occurred.
Therefore
, most of them have set financial
development
 as their priority.
Nonetheless
, some people suppose that improvements in other
parts
 could be
also
 crucial for a society. In
this
 assay, both views and considerations will be discussed and concluding remarks will be presented
at the end
. On the one hand, some individuals, particularly decision-makers in the governments, believe that financial progress should be the aim of budget programming annually. They allocate major
parts
 of human resources, facilities, and infrastructure to financial improvement. It seems that they would prefer to reinforce the
economy
 at the expense of postponing advances in other dimensions, ranging from education and culture to preserving the
environment
.
Furthermore
, they believe that economic progression would be the base of advancements in other
parts
 of a
country
 and could protect society from internal and external threats and restraints.
For instance
, there are some developing countries in the
middle east
Correct your spelling
Middle East
show examples
 that have fully paid attention to the
economy
 by absorbing investors in building famous towers and boosting the tourism industry with no consideration of the disadvantages and side effects of these investments on the culture and
environment
.
On the other hand
, opponents of
this
 view suppose that concurrent developments in various aspects, including
economy
, education,
environment
, industry, and culture should be the target of a
country
 and it would be better for leaders to have a defined and comprehensive program for governing a
country
.
For example
, they point out that financial
development
 cannot be obtained only by relying on oil and fossil fuels that have harmful effects on the
environment
 and nature. They think that some
parts
 of the budget should be assigned to preserve natural resources and prevent air pollution.
Overall
, I would agree with opponents of economic progress as the main goal of a
country
. It seems that only paying attention to the
economy
 and delaying the
development
 of other
parts
 would be associated with some disadvantages and threats in society. Multi-directional developments with a comprehensive plan could guarantee the future of a nation.
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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is expanded upon with relevant details and examples. While the essay addresses both sides and provides a personal opinion, incorporating more specific examples would strengthen the support for your points and assist in achieving a higher score.
coherence cohesion
Work to improve the logical flow between points. Use a variety of cohesive devices to connect ideas and paragraphs. This will aid readers in following your argument more coherently. While you have a good structure and clear topic sentences, enhancing your use of linking words can add clarity to your essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • standard of living
  • sustainable development
  • social equality
  • environmental degradation
  • cultural heritage
  • technological innovation
  • wealth disparity
  • human development index
  • holistic approach
  • quality of life
  • economic prosperity
  • healthcare system
  • education system
  • cultural diversity
  • policy decisions
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