It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
There is a statement that
women
more
suitable Add a missing verb
are more
to look
after their Change preposition
for looking
kids
more
than Correct quantifier usage
apply
men
. I firmly disagree with this
notion and I feel that for several reasons . This
essay will demonstrates
and Change the verb form
demonstrate
explains
Correct subject-verb agreement
explain
theses
reasons.
First and foremost, many studies have proven that Correct your spelling
these
men
are better than women
for stay
and Wrong verb form
staying
take
Wrong verb form
taking
care
of children. For instance
, when I was a kid, my father take
Wrong verb form
took
care
of me and my siblings while
my mother was giving birth of
my Change preposition
to
yougest
brother. To illustrate Correct your spelling
youngest
this
, my father was
having patience and kindness Verb problem
had
more
than my mother. Correct quantifier usage
apply
Furthermore
, many families tend to accept male babysitter
more than Fix the agreement mistake
babysitters
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
due to
their kindness and concentrate
.Replace the word
concentration
Thus
, man
are suited to Fix the agreement mistake
men
commett
Correct your spelling
commit
for
Change preposition
to
this
type of work.
Surprisingly, many men
are more welling
than Correct your spelling
willing
women
to stay at home
with their kids
without complaining and they show ability and capability for achieveing
Correct your spelling
achieving
home
chores, cooking and care
of children. However
we acknwoledge
that moms have crucial roles in order Correct your spelling
acknowledge
of
take Change preposition
to
care
and
raise Change preposition
of and
kids
, fathers also
have acomplished
these tasks perfectly. Correct your spelling
accomplished
Thus
, any of
parents can stay at Change preposition
apply
home
and looking
after their Wrong verb form
look
kids
, But I beleive
that fathers Correct your spelling
believe
more
capable than mothers.
Add a missing verb
are more
To conclude
, men
and women
have various abilities to stay home
and care
of
children, but Change preposition
for
men
characterised
by many aspects to do Add a missing verb
are characterised
this
.Submitted by ghadeer_lab on
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coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but you should work on making them stronger and more concise. Try using a clear and engaging thesis statement. For example, 'I firmly disagree with the notion that only women are suitable for childcare, and I believe both genders can excel in this role for various reasons, which I will discuss in this essay.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear structure. Try presenting one main idea per paragraph and clearly linking each paragraph back to your thesis statement. This will help improve your logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-supported by evidence and examples. Improved coherence can be achieved by using linking phrases or words, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'In conclusion.'
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but be sure to provide a balanced argument. Discuss both sides of the argument before drawing a conclusion to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas to make them clearer and more comprehensive. For example, in the paragraph where you mention men being more willing to stay home, offer more examples or consider discussing societal changes that support this idea.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but consider adding more variety and depth to your examples. For instance, mention specific studies or cultural references that suggest men can excel as primary caregivers.
task achievement
Your essay is engaging and you provide personal examples that make your argument relatable.
task achievement
You clearly disagree with the statement, and your passion on the topic is evident, making it a compelling read.
Word Count
IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.
A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.
Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.