It must be a woman who stays at home to care for children. Men are not suited to this kind of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a statement that
women
Use synonyms
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
suitable
to look
Change preposition
for looking
show examples
after their
kids
Use synonyms
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than
men
Use synonyms
. I firmly disagree with
this
Linking Words
notion and I feel that for several reasons .
This
Linking Words
essay will
demonstrates
Change the verb form
demonstrate
show examples
and
explains
Correct subject-verb agreement
explain
show examples
theses
Correct your spelling
these
show examples
reasons. First and foremost, many studies have proven that
men
Use synonyms
are better than
women
Use synonyms
for
stay
Wrong verb form
staying
show examples
and
take
Wrong verb form
taking
show examples
care
Use synonyms
of children.
For instance
Linking Words
, when I was a kid, my father
take
Wrong verb form
took
show examples
care
Use synonyms
of me and my siblings
while
Linking Words
my mother was giving birth
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
my
yougest
Correct your spelling
youngest
brother. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, my father
was
Verb problem
had
show examples
having patience and kindness
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
than my mother.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, many families tend to accept male
babysitter
Fix the agreement mistake
babysitters
show examples
more than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
due to
Linking Words
their kindness and
concentrate
Replace the word
concentration
show examples
.
Thus
Linking Words
,
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
are suited to
commett
Correct your spelling
commit
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
Linking Words
type of work. Surprisingly, many
men
Use synonyms
are more
welling
Correct your spelling
willing
show examples
than
women
Use synonyms
to stay at
home
Use synonyms
with their
kids
Use synonyms
without complaining and they show ability and capability for
achieveing
Correct your spelling
achieving
home
Use synonyms
chores, cooking and
care
Use synonyms
of children.
However
Linking Words
we
acknwoledge
Correct your spelling
acknowledge
that moms have crucial roles in order
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
take
care
Use synonyms
and
Change preposition
of and
show examples
raise
kids
Use synonyms
, fathers
also
Linking Words
have
acomplished
Correct your spelling
accomplished
these tasks perfectly.
Thus
Linking Words
, any
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
parents can stay at
home
Use synonyms
and
looking
Wrong verb form
look
show examples
after their
kids
Use synonyms
, But I
beleive
Correct your spelling
believe
that fathers
more
Add a missing verb
are more
show examples
capable than mothers.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
men
Use synonyms
and
women
Use synonyms
have various abilities to stay
home
Use synonyms
and
care
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
children, but
men
Use synonyms
characterised
Add a missing verb
are characterised
show examples
by many aspects to do
this
Linking Words
.
Submitted by ghadeer_lab on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present, but you should work on making them stronger and more concise. Try using a clear and engaging thesis statement. For example, 'I firmly disagree with the notion that only women are suitable for childcare, and I believe both genders can excel in this role for various reasons, which I will discuss in this essay.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a clear structure. Try presenting one main idea per paragraph and clearly linking each paragraph back to your thesis statement. This will help improve your logical structure and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-supported by evidence and examples. Improved coherence can be achieved by using linking phrases or words, such as 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' and 'In conclusion.'
task achievement
You have addressed the task, but be sure to provide a balanced argument. Discuss both sides of the argument before drawing a conclusion to show a comprehensive understanding of the topic.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on your ideas to make them clearer and more comprehensive. For example, in the paragraph where you mention men being more willing to stay home, offer more examples or consider discussing societal changes that support this idea.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but consider adding more variety and depth to your examples. For instance, mention specific studies or cultural references that suggest men can excel as primary caregivers.
task achievement
Your essay is engaging and you provide personal examples that make your argument relatable.
task achievement
You clearly disagree with the statement, and your passion on the topic is evident, making it a compelling read.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Gender roles
  • Empathy
  • Nurturing
  • Emotional intelligence
  • Caregiving
  • Paternal leave
  • Equality
  • Stereotype
  • Societal norms
  • Dual-income families
  • Stay-at-home dads
  • Cultural evolution
  • Economic considerations
  • Skill sets
  • Traditional roles
What to do next:
Look at other essays: