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Writing Samples
Band 7

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.

The pie charts below show the average household expenditures in a country in 1950 and 2010.
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The pie charts give information about the average
expenditure
Use synonyms
 of households in the country between 1950 and 2010 in
percentage
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.
Overall
Linking Words
, There are significant differences in housing and food
expenditure
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 percentages in 1950 compared to 2010. In 1950, the most expense
percentage
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 was housing and
this
Linking Words
 type of
expenditure
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 is the main household
expenditure
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 was 72.1 per
cent
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. which is three-fourths of all spending.
Next,
Linking Words
the nutrition
expenditure
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 was 11.2 per on second-ranked.
By contrast
Linking Words
, people spent on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
healthcare just 2.4 per
cent
Use synonyms
 which is the lowest
percentage
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 compared to other costs.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, in 2010. The ratio of housing expenditures dramatically declined by almost half of the housing
percentage
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 compared to 1950.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the food cost in 2010 significantly increased from 11.2 per
cent
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 in 1950 to 34 per
cent
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, which is almost three times of past
percentage
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. By the way, other expenditures in 2010 remarkably increased from 1950 as well. In summary, The household
expenditure
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 in 1950 and 2010 totally changes in housing, nutrition and other disbursement. Those figures are important and have risen
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 a high rate in the past.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words expenditure, percentage, cent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "significant" was used 2 times.
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