IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel the best way to reduce the number of accidents on the road is to further limit the speed of vehicles. Others think that there are better ways to tackle this issue. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

With the increase of
vehicles
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 on the
road
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 number of
accidents
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also
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 increases.
While
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,
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apply
show examples
 some
people
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 argue that restriction on the speed limit of
vehicles
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 is the best way to prevent
accidents
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 that occur on the
road
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.
However
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, others are of the view that there are some other ways to tackle
this
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 issue.
Therefore
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, both views will be discussed before giving my opinion. Examining the former view, the foremost argument put forward by the proponents is the increased rate of
fines
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 for overspeeding. Nowadays,
people
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 are careless about speeding, because low rates for
fines
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 do not affect
people
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's pay . In order to prevent injury government should increase the rate of
fines
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.
For example
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,
according to
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 a survey conducted by the 'Surat City News' after increasing charges 5 times higher than previous for tickets for high-speed individuals automatically run their bikes or cars at lower limits because nobody can afford
such
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 a high amount for one ticket.
On the contrary
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, those in favour of the latter opinion have their own arguments.
To begin
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 with, some
people
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 argue that there are different ways to prevent
this
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 issue like increasing
traffic
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 signals on the
road
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. If the
traffic
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 department puts more signals on every 500 meters that indirectly limit
vehicles
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 speed.
For example
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, In Calgary, you have to face
traffic
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 signs every 500 meters which eventually reduces errors of
accidents
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.
To conclude
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 and give my opinion, I would support the former view.
This
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 is because the high rate of
fines
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 is the best way in order to prevent
accidents
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 on the
road
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 by
vehicles
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, where
traffic
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 signals are not the best option for highways.

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introduction
The introduction defines the topic but could be clearer in presenting the two views. Ensure that the opinion is clearly stated at the end of the introduction.
body
The argument about fines is valid, but it could be more detailed to effectively support the view. Providing more depth about how fines could impact behavior would strengthen it.
body
The second point of traffic signals is relevant but could benefit from more specific examples or data to enhance the argument.
conclusion
The conclusion summarizes the main points but reiterates the opinion too quickly. A stronger conclusion would restate the main arguments more thoughtfully before confirming the opinion.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and provides a clear opinion, which is essential for a balanced discussion.
coherence and cohesion
There is a logical flow in discussing the viewpoints one after another, helping the reader to follow the arguments being made.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • proponents
  • averting
  • collisions
  • fatalities
  • awareness
  • infrastructure
  • pedestrian zones
  • distracted driving
  • enforcement
  • penalties
  • compliance
  • culture of road safety
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