Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
People
like sweet food and drink. Currently, food and beverages that contain high levels of sugar
are at
our reach by just buying from the nearest minimarkets. Change preposition
within
However
, consuming too much sugar
and not balanced
with adequate physical activity will lead to various health problems, Add a missing verb
being balanced
such
as diabetes. Many people
suggest the price of sugary products
should be priced more to make people
consume them less. From the given recommendation, I would disagree because of two reasons.
First,
people
with medium to high income will still be able to afford these products
because simply they have money, and they want to enjoy it. For instance
, workers with high salaries can buy a beverage that contains a high level of sugar
because they think the drink will cure their stress of working. Therefore
, the government should think of another approach that restrains these groups of people
from buying sugary products
.
Second,
not only increasing the price of the product, but manufacturers also
need to inform people
of the effect
of consuming sweet Fix the agreement mistake
effects
products
, such
as informing from the package. For instance
, smoke products
display the image of people
who get
affected severely by smoking. In Verb problem
are
this
case, manufacturers can stick a tiny poster of people
who are overweight as the effect of excessive consumption of sugar
behind the product. I believe people
will be interested in reading the poster while
drinking.
In conclusion, increasing the prices of sugary products
is not an effective way to encourage people
to consume less sugary foods and drinks. The action must think about the citizens who are still able to afford the products
. In addition
, the government can mandate the producers to add a display of the effect of sugar
without limit to increase the awareness of the people
.Submitted by fridacaturima on
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task achievement
You have made some relevant points and provided a clear stance in your introduction and conclusion. However, try to explore your arguments in more depth to strengthen your task response.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure by clearly separating and developing each argument in its own paragraph. This will improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Ensure each main point is well-supported with specific, detailed examples. This will make your arguments more persuasive.
structure
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which gives your writing a nice structure.
task achievement
You have made a clear effort to support your points with relevant examples, ensuring a more comprehensive response.
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