Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?
When visiting different
museums
, people
often find out that the fee standards of museums
are different, and many of them even charge
for free. It is sometimes argued that museums
should be free for people
to visit. From my prospect, it will bring both advantages and disadvantages.
On the upside, charging for free could make museums
more attractive to visitors
and even stimulate the tourism industry. People
are becoming highly educated these days, and their tendency to tour somewhere education has increased. However
, the high charges of some museums
have always been a barrier, stopping people
from visiting them. Consequently
, if a museum
becomes free of charge
, people
will be more inclined to pay a visit. For example
, a family from a less well-off background is planning to go to a museum
, but they may hesitate in front of the door when seeing the high prices since they have to consider carefully the cost. However
, they would go straight into the museum
if it’s free of charge
. Furthermore
, for a museum
, another benefit of being free is that the more visitors
it has, the better its reputation will be. When a museum
is worth a visit, tourists will spread out their experiences with their relatives and friends, and the museum
will be more famous, attracting visitors
.
On the downside, governments
will need to provide more subsidies to museums
for maintenance. Usually, the charge
of admission of a museum
is often used to maintain cultural relics kept in it and the museum
’s structure. When museums
become free of charge
, governments
have to find new means to provide museums
with sufficient funds for maintenance, such
as increase
subsidies. Replace the word
increased
Furthermore
, while
museums
could attract more visitors
as it’s free of charge
, maintenance spending increases. In consequence, governments
need to spend more money on museums
.
In conclusion, both conducive and detrimental effects could be brought when a museum
is free of charge
. So governments
should consider carefully whether the increase in tourists is what they need or the low cost of subsidies.Submitted by 18310971390 on
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task achievement
To improve your essay, it is important to have a clearer thesis statement in your introduction to explicitly state your stance or the main points that will be discussed. This will help to guide the reader better.
task achievement
Aim to develop each argument more thoroughly by including more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will help in making your ideas more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Transition between paragraphs and ideas could be smoother by using more connecting phrases and ensuring each paragraph follows logically from the previous one.
coherence cohesion
Try to balance the discussion of advantages and disadvantages more evenly. For instance, if you list two advantages, try to list two disadvantages as well, to maintain a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in following the argument.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to illustrate your points, which strengthens your argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points discussed in the essay and offers a closing thought, which is good for coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite