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Writing Samples
Band 8

Social media networks at school. Advantages and disadvantages

#media #networks #school
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There is no denying that social network is part of our lives. All
students
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 in colleges and universities have a smartphone or tablet with access to different
media
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 networks. There are different opinions about how technology should be used by
students
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. Negative consequences have been reported when the technology is not used correctly.
In contrast
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,
students
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 and
schools
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 can benefit from it when it is used to get the best of it. There are those who claim that social
media
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 can impact kids’ personalities and self-esteem. Social
media
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 can be used to bully school colleagues or to scam
students
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. I agree that these are really concerning issues and
that is
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 why
schools
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 and universities should include subjects in
schools
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 on how to use the technologies responsibly.
On the other hand
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, social
media
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 can help our young population to open their networks and enable them to work collaboratively with other
schools
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. There are multiple possibilities and options on the internet
such
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 as learning about the latest topics, sharing your achievements or finding information about how to apply for a grant. Currently, in some
schools
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, headteachers have implemented their own network. They use
this
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 system to manage the school lessons and homework, but
also
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 for social and ludic activities.
Students
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 are really enthusiastic about the new ways of teaching as they feel more included. In conclusion, we all understand that social
media
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 and the internet may have a negative impact when it is not used appropriately.
However
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, there are multiple positive characteristics of the new technologists that we need to understand and implement, so we can get the best of our
students
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.
Submitted by olatzbaroja on

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Structure
Maintain a clear, coherent structure throughout your essay, ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations.
Content
To further enrich your essay, include a wider variety of examples and deepen your analysis of how these examples support your points.
Cohesion
Continue practicing the use of transitional phrases to enhance the flow of your essay and ensure a natural progression of ideas.
Depth
Consider expanding on the implications or future outlook of social media use in educational contexts to provide a more comprehensive analysis.
Introduction/Conclusion
You've effectively introduced the topic and concluded your essay, providing a clear overview and summary of your arguments.
Structure
Your essay demonstrates a good logical structure, with each paragraph focusing on a specific aspect of the topic.
Clarity and Comprehensiveness
You've successfully used a mix of general statements and specific examples, enhancing the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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