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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.
#tables #information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december
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The tables illustrate data
of
Change preposition
on
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 the temperatures and times of sunrise and
sunset
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 in two cities (
London
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 and
Sydney
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)
in
Change preposition
on
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 similar weekend days in
December
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 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
temperature
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 in
Sydney
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 was the highest, and their sunrise
time
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 was earlier than
London
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,
while
Linking Words
sunset
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time
Use synonyms
 in
London
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 was earlier than
Sydney
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 and their weather was colder than
Sydney
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. In
London
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, which had lower
level
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levels
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 of
temperature
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 than
Sydney
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. the highest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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temperature
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 was 13 C
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degree
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degrees
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 and the lowest was 3 C
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degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 on Saturday 29th of
December
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.
In addition
Linking Words
,
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time
Correct article usage
the time
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 of daylight at around 8:00 A.M. sunrise, and at about 15:00 P.M.
sunset
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. In
sydney
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, the highest
degree
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 of the
temperature
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 was 31 on Sunday 30th of
December
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 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the lowest
degree
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 was 17 on 28th of
December
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
, The sun rises at 5:45 and increaesed to 5:46, and
sunset
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time
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 around 20:06 P.M. .
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sunset, london, sydney, december, temperature, time, degree with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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