IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.

The tables give information about the temperatures and hours of daylight in London and Sydney during the same weekend in December 2018.
#tables #information #temperatures #hours #daylight #london #sydney #weekend #december
The tables illustrate data
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the temperatures and times of sunrise and
sunset
 in two cities (
London
 and
Sydney
)
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 similar weekend days in
December
 2018.
Overall
, the
temperature
 in
Sydney
 was the highest, and their sunrise
time
 was earlier than
London
,
while
sunset
time
 in
London
 was earlier than
Sydney
 and their weather was colder than
Sydney
. In
London
, which had lower
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
 of
temperature
 than
Sydney
. the highest
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
temperature
 was 13 C
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 and the lowest was 3 C
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
show examples
 on Saturday 29th of
December
.
In addition
,
time
Correct article usage
the time
show examples
 of daylight at around 8:00 A.M. sunrise, and at about 15:00 P.M.
sunset
. In
sydney
, the highest
degree
 of the
temperature
 was 31 on Sunday 30th of
December
 2018,
while
 the lowest
degree
 was 17 on 28th of
December
.
Moreover
, The sun rises at 5:45 and increaesed to 5:46, and
sunset
time
 around 20:06 P.M. .
Submitted by saja.alotaibi on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sunset, london, sydney, december, temperature, time, degree with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!