Technology is making communication easier in today's world, but at the expense of personal contact as many people choose to work at home infront of a computer screen. What are the dangers are there for a society which depends on computer screens rather than face-to-face contact for its main means of communication

In
this
contemporary world, a majority of individuals use social media applications to speak to others rather than meet them in
person
and talk.
Thus
, today's society is dependent on
computer
screens for
communication
which will lead to many problems.
Therefore
,
this
essay will elaborate on
this
further
.
To begin
with, it is hard for a
person
to express his feelings, ideas and thoughts in a few text messages when communicating with another
person
.
For example
, a recent survey done by Harvard University in the USA found that 90% of students find it difficult to date online as they don't know whether the messages sent by their significant other are genuine or not.
Hence
, almost the same proportion of couples who met online break up within 2 weeks compared to couples who meet up in
person
and openly communicate their feelings.
On the other hand
, when more people get accustomed to using
computer
screens as a main mode of talking to others it will adversely affect their social skills.
This
is because an individual needs to socialize with everyone in order to present himself confidently and express their thoughts and opinions to the members of the public.
For instance
, a recent study done by a Canadian university found that many juveniles who spend most of their time talking to their peers through social media platforms like Instagram or Snapchat are socially awkward when they meet up with new people physically. Another danger of depending on a
computer
screen for
communication
is that it will lead to health problems
such
as chronic backaches and weak eyesight. To illustrate
this
, a recent newspaper stated that the number of people who wear spectacles in Austria increased by 50% and the main reason for
this
is
due to
staring at their laptops for long hours. In conclusion, it is aptly clear from the aforementioned information that using a
computer
screen for
communication
rather than physical contact will lead to many misunderstandings, reduce one's social skills and
also
develop various health issues.
Consequently
, it is important to engage in physical
communication
rather than online to avoid the above problems.
Submitted by ashinif8 on

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task response
The essay effectively addresses the prompt by discussing the dangers of depending on computer screens for communication. Make sure to provide a clear position in the introduction and restate it in the conclusion for stronger coherence.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The ideas are logically connected, and transitions between paragraphs are smooth. Consider using more diverse linking words to enhance coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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