Many people today believe that we should abolish prisons because of their numerous problems. What are the problems with prisons? What solutions can be implemented to address these problems?
Prison
Add an article
The prison
system
has been around for decades serving as means
of justice Correct article usage
a means
to
law-breakers. The Change preposition
for
system
has managed to keep the peace in the society to a certain extent and recently some groups of people are arguing to abolish the system
due to
their numerous issues
. This
essay will lay down the problems related to jail institutions and practical solutions to address these issues
.
One of the prominent issues
is that the ex-convicts have difficulties finding a job and end up committing the same crime. It is true that the sentences they have served should make them a better person but it is not always the case. Instead
, some of the inmates make more friends in their cells thus
widening their network and tend to reconnect to continue the same crime outside the prison
on a larger scale. Besides
, employers are hesitant to hire ex-convict
for fear of them doing more harm to the business. Fix the agreement mistake
ex-convicts
However
, getting rid of the jail system
will not eradicate all the problems associated with it.
Instead
, the prison
institutions could provide rehabilitation programmes such
as addiction group sharing sessions or religious gatherings, not
only would identify Correct pronoun usage
which not
their
root causes for committing Change the word
the
such
crimes but would also
improve their mental health to be a better person. Moreover
, having classes such
as computer learning, carpentry or even something as simple as reading or writing will prepare them to be useful to society and to have some income giving them new purpose in life. Government
could Add an article
The government
also
intervene by giving incentives to the employers for hiring former inmates in order to improve their lives.
In conclusion, former convict’s
Fix the agreement mistake
convicts’
issues
such
as difficulty finding job
can be solved with the initiatives from the government. Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
Therefore
, I totally believe that having prison
Correct article usage
a prison
system
is crucial for the
society.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by coke_sars on
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relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to illustrate your points better. For instance, mention specific rehabilitation programs or job training initiatives that have worked in real-world scenarios.
logical structure
Improve the flow between paragraphs by using more transitional phrases. This will help to enhance the logical structure of your essay.
supported main points
Ensure that your main points are clearly supported throughout the essay. You can do this by elaborating more on how these solutions directly address the problems presented.
complete response
The essay provides a complete response to the task by identifying problems with the prison system and suggesting practical solutions.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction and conclusion are well-presented, summarizing the main points effectively.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay offers clear and comprehensive ideas, establishing a strong position in favor of improving rather than abolishing the prison system.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.