Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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To develop a

country

Use synonyms

, there are many things the

government

Use synonyms

should take care of. Politicians need to set laws and inspect each usage of tax money to make the

country

Use synonyms

better. Citizens'

healthcare

Use synonyms

is very important, but other

policies

Use synonyms

might be more crucial.

This

Linking Words

essay discusses both sides of the argument and examines the pros and cons of these

policies

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

, take my

country

Use synonyms

as an example;

Taiwan

Use synonyms

is famous for its

healthcare

Use synonyms

insurance. People can afford the fees for seeing a doctor. Even overseas Taiwanese would rather fly thousands of miles to

Taiwan

Use synonyms

than have surgery in a local hospital in a foreign

country

Use synonyms

. I believe

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

healthcare

Use synonyms

insurance greatly benefits every Taiwanese, allowing our

country

Use synonyms

to focus on developing its economy.

However

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

excellent insurance system

also

Linking Words

puts

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

colossal pressure on our finances. Some professors warn that the

government

Use synonyms

is now facing a deficit because of it.

Therefore

Linking Words

, we should consider the priority of applying

Use synonyms

healthcare

Change preposition

for healthcare

show examples

In contrast

Linking Words

besides

Linking Words

healthcare

Use synonyms

policy,

Taiwan

Use synonyms

is now facing an enormous threat from mainland China. They have more than thousands of missiles and rockets aimed at

Taiwan

Use synonyms

to frighten its people.

Thus

Linking Words

, the best solution is

strengthening

Change the verb form

to strengthen

show examples

national

Use synonyms

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

However

Linking Words

, the budget for national

Use synonyms

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

only covers 3% of the GDP, which is quite low. Most of the weapons need to be upgraded immediately. Our

government

Use synonyms

should take

this

Linking Words

seriously. In conclusion, setting laws or

policies

Use synonyms

that cover different requirements of the people is very challenging.

Healthcare

Use synonyms

and national

Use synonyms

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

both play important roles in our society. Without these

policies

Use synonyms

, we might face serious problems. Both the

government

Use synonyms

and individuals should ensure that taxpayers' money is spent efficiently. In my opinion,

while

Linking Words

healthcare

Use synonyms

is vital, the current geopolitical situation necessitates a greater focus on national

Use synonyms

defense

Change the spelling

defence

show examples

aa0963178783Mon Jul 22 2024

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task achievement

Ensure that all main points are fully expanded with sufficient examples and explanations. For instance, discussing the financial implications of healthcare further could enhance the argument.

coherence cohesion

Though the essay is well-organized, ensure seamless transitions between paragraphs to further improve the flow. Additionally, linking more closely to your thesis in each paragraph can strengthen cohesion.

task achievement

The essay presents a thorough and balanced discussion of both viewpoints, with a clear stance in the conclusion.

coherence cohesion

The logical structure of the essay is strong, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph presents a distinct idea related to the main topic.

task achievement

The use of relevant and specific examples, such as Taiwan's healthcare system and national defense concerns, effectively supports the main points.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

295 words

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Some people say the government should give healthcare the first priority, some others believe there are more important priorities to spend taxer’s money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

People think that government should increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles to solve environmental problems. Give your opinion.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or lack of money. others argue that it is better to try and improve such conditions discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?