Some people think that student benefits from going to private secondary schools. Others, however, feel that private schools can have a negative effect on society as a whole. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.
Studing
in private Correct your spelling
Studying
schools
is controversial
issue. Some individuals feel that private high school has advantages rather than public Add an article
a controversial
schools
. In this
eassy
, first I examine Correct your spelling
essay
easy
this
eassy
from both Correct your spelling
essay
easy
point
of view Change to a plural noun
points
than
I Correct your spelling
then
gave
my own opinion.
On one side, some people claim that Wrong verb form
give
studing
in private Correct your spelling
studying
schools
has positive value for students. This
is because of some reasons that
private Correct word choice
apply
schools
are well infrastructured
. For Add a hyphen
well-infrastructured
an
example, provide various facilities to children Correct article usage
apply
such
as large
playground, Add an article
a large
the large
games
courts for football, table tennis, badminton, basketball and so on, massive libraries, discussion rooms, Fix the agreement mistake
game
auditorium
, Correct article usage
an auditorium
etcetra
. Correct your spelling
etcetera
Moreover
, private schools
have young and modern staff to teach students with latest techniques of studing
like using smart classrooms. Private Correct your spelling
studying
schools
also
focus on child well being
and foster motor skills by providing Add a hyphen
well-being
after
Correct your spelling
after-school
schools
activities such
camping
.
On Change preposition
as camping
other
hand, it is undeniable that several negative outcomes arise Correct article usage
the other
along with
the aforementioned positive side. Some individuals assume that private institutions have
lack Unnecessary verb
apply
of
experienced and qualified teachers as public Change preposition
apply
schools
always hired
teachers based on their qualifications tests Wrong verb form
hire
whereas
, private schools
recruitments are merely by helding
interviews. Top on Correct your spelling
holding
that
, private institutions are not affordable Change preposition
of that
by
poor people because of Change preposition
for
its
high tuition fees and charges for extra curriculum activities Correct pronoun usage
their
for enhancing
Change preposition
to enhance
skills
Correct article usage
the skills
in
students. In Change preposition
of
this
way, it creates discrimination between poor and rich masses.
In conclusion, it is clear from above
discussion that Add an article
the above
privates
Change the noun form
private
schools
have more benefits which help children to become more self-esteemed and independent by learning in vast
atmosphere and playing activities which is beneficial for Correct article usage
a vast
child
to become a great personality.Add an article
the child
a child
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task response
The introduction could be clearer and provide a brief outline of the points that will be discussed in the essay. Additionally, there are some grammatical inaccuracies that hinder the overall clarity of your arguments, like 'studing' should be 'studying' and 'eassy' should be 'essay'. Consider proofreading your work to correct these small mistakes.
coherence cohesion
Some paragraphs lack clear topic sentences, and the transitions between ideas could be smoother. This slightly affects the logical flow of the essay. It would be beneficial to ensure each paragraph starts with a sentence that clearly indicates the main point of that paragraph, and transitions between points need to be more seamless.
task response
Ensure you strengthen your arguments with more specific examples. For instance, mention how extracurricular activities in private schools have helped students in real-life scenarios or provide statistics to support claims. This will enhance the credibility of your essay.
task response
While both sides of the argument are discussed, the explanation given for the negative aspects could be more detailed and specific. This will provide a more balanced view and help in achieving a higher score.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion summarizes the main points well, but it could be more definitive in giving your own opinion. State your stance clearly and confidently at the end of the essay.
task response
The essay attempts to cover both views on the topic, which demonstrates a balanced approach. You acknowledge the benefits of private schooling and the potential negative impacts on society.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a structured format with an introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion. This shows an understanding of a coherent essay structure.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example