IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Many scientific institutes conduct research on live animals. Some people regard it as cruel and unnecessary while others believe it is justified in the interest of human welfare. Discuss the two views and give your reasons. Give reason for your answer.

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Throughout history,
experiments
Use synonyms
 conducted on living beings have raised concerns about whether they are actually effective and necessary.
While
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 many
people
Use synonyms
 regard
this
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 as a vital key for the sake of science, I still oppose
this
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 argument as animal testing should be banned. There are compelling reasons why a number of
people
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 believe in laboratory science, which involves testing on live
animals
Use synonyms
.
This
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 is known to be using medicinal products, and performing surgeries on healthy household pets
such
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 as hamsters, cats or dogs because these
animals
Use synonyms
 can demonstrate instant reactions and are most similar to humans in terms of physical structures including bones, flesh and organs. Animal
experiments
Use synonyms
 have shown the efficacy of new treatments before any human research will be allowed to be conducted. A prime example of
this
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 is the identification of multiple underlying side effects like infertility, birth defects, toxicity and cancer-causing after conducting research in order to ensure safety.
However
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, many
people
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 stand against
this
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 inhumane act and state their point that living beings can experience distress and suffer severe pain. Sometimes,
experiments
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 on
animals
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 can be inaccurate and irrelevant since
animals
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 significantly differ from real humans on account of genetics. Various organisations
such
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 as PETA and HSI have been advocating for the replacement of animal testing with many alternative methods including utilising technologies, 3D tissues and organs-on-chips to predict human responses to different treatments
while
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 maintaining accuracy. By that means, I strongly agree that animal ethics should be praised and featured
as well as
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 scientific purposes;
therefore
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 condemn the justification of exploiting live
animals
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 for research projects and human welfare.
While
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 the benefits obtained from animal
experiments
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 are undeniable, the ethical and moral grounds should
also
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 be considered respectively. It is understandable why
people
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 defend scientific works on living beings since they ensure the safety and efficacy of medicines before applying
to
Correct pronoun usage
them to
show examples
 humans.
On the other hand
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, there are still many non-animal substitutes for medicinal testing that can pose the same accuracy and preserve animal rights.

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task achievement
Your essay effectively addresses both viewpoints on the topic, providing a balanced discussion. However, some sentences could be clarified for better task response. For instance, the sentence 'This is known to be using medicinal products, and performing surgeries on healthy household pets such as hamsters, cats or dogs...' can be rephrased for clarity and accuracy.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a logical structure in your essay, and your arguments flow well. However, consider breaking some longer sentences into shorter ones for better readability and coherence. Additionally, ensure all points are directly relevant to the main argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, clearly presenting your stance on the issue.
task achievement
You successfully provide examples and supporting points that enhance your argument, such as mentioning specific organizations like PETA and HSI advocating against animal testing.
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