At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, the population growth rate skyrocketed in

a disparate

Correct the article-noun agreement

disparate countries

a disparate country

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countries

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, the percentage between the elderly and youths is unnoticeable. A wide range of

countries

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have a significant number of young

people

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. In

this

Linking Words

essay, I will elaborate on the pros and cons. On the one hand, youths are the backbone of the nation. They have a lot of merits and energy, which can help the country.

Moreover

Linking Words

, they are vibrant,

thus

Linking Words

they have the ability to accomplish a lot of tasks. They

also

Linking Words

have the ability to learn swiftly and in effortless ways.

For instance

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, China is the largest population country in numbers and the individuals from age 20 to 35 are more than half of all the

people

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Therefore

Linking Words

, most of the industries are there. They are aware and productive

people

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

, they can cope with any method related to technology. They know more about hardware, software and platforms,

hence

Linking Words

they can provide more industries and activities related to the technology. Another example, German society is struggling now because of the low number of young

people

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. They opened the migration to increase the number of

people

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This

Linking Words

had an inferior effect on the German economy.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, a diverse range of the new generation is reckless. They can not hold on to their spirits so a wide spectrum of their resolutions is wrong.

For example

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, when the Japanese Emperor attempted to attack the Iraqi ports.

This

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led to the

second world war

Correct your spelling

Second World War

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. The old

people

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are wiser than the young. Most of the big positions are led by old

people

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. Recently, a wide range of affluent youth have been sluggish. They do not want to assist the community and be productive persons in it.

For instance

Linking Words

, in Middle Eastern

countries

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, most harsh jobs are done by foreign

people

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. These

countries

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are relying more on them. In conclusion, young

people

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play a crucial role in our lives. They should be led by diligent persons. If we know how to utilize them in a beneficial way, they will enhance the community and will be helpful

mohannadsmeTue Jul 23 2024

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task achievement

Try to refine the introduction to more clearly state the main argument. This will set a stronger framework for your essay and make the topic clearer to the reader.

task achievement

Ensure that your examples are directly relevant to the point being made, and avoid digressions that do not add value to the argument.

coherence cohesion

Work on developing paragraphs with a clear topic sentence and logical progression of ideas within each paragraph. This will improve the overall coherence of your essay.

task achievement

Addressing the counterarguments more deeply would provide a more balanced perspective and demonstrate a thorough understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

The essay is organized with clear paragraphs, which helps with the overall flow and readability.

task achievement

Your essay includes specific examples and attempts to balance the argument by discussing both advantages and disadvantages.

coherence cohesion

The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the importance of the topic.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 7.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

348 words

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At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Many young people do not know how to manage their money when graduating high school. What do you think are the reasons? What can be done to teach them this important skill?

Some people believe that they should be able to keep all the money they earn, and should not have to pay tax to the state. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

Art is considered an important part of a society as well as an expression of its culture. Do you think it is important for children to be taught art? Do you think children should be encouraged to focus on art rather than other subjects?

Some people say the main way to be happy in life is to have a lot of money. How might having a lot of money make people happy? What other things in life can make people happy?

Some people think that international car-free day will help in reducing fuel usage and air pollution. Others believe there is an effective alternative to this. To what extent do you agree with this opinion?