Some species of animals are almost extinct; and many others seem to be fast approaching a similar risk. What are the reasons for this? What should be done to solve this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Nowadays, some animal species
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
almost extinct. And many others are prone to
extinction
as well.
This
essay will discuss the potential reasons
Such
as hunting. and suggest a few solutions to solve
this
issue. First and foremost, animal
extinction
is one of the biggest challenges we face today. And the primary reason why animals disappear is hunting. It is believed that hunting can harm animal's life chains.
Moreover
, accelerates the
extinction
process. Some
people
do these activities just for fun. Especially the rich
people
.
For example
, a survey in Japan showed that 82% of wealthy families have killed more than 60.000 animals every year just for entertainment.
This
highlights why a huge portion of animals have disappeared. To address
this
issue. One effective solution could be that the government should put strict rules.
additionally
, make hunting illegal for the general public. Another possible suggestion to tackle
this
problem is that the government should
also
launch a publicity campaign in the media and schools to educate
people
about the dangers of animal
extinction
. an awareness campaign could shed some light on
this
difficult situation and allow
people
to be more open and honest about it.
For example
, a similar initiative in India resulted in a 49% decrease in
this
crisis after they launched a couple of campaigns. In conclusion, animal
extinction
is a very dangerous problem. And it will affect us in both the short and long term.
Hence
, we need to tackle
this
by preventing hunting and aware
people
of the possible damage.
Submitted by reem.rz112 on

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coherence cohesion
Work on sentence structure to avoid fragmented ideas. For example, 'animal extinction is one of the biggest challenges we face today. And the primary reason...' could be written as 'Animal extinction is one of the biggest challenges we face today, with hunting being a primary reason.'
task achievement
Try to enhance your vocabulary and use more varied language. For instance, instead of 'put strict rules,' you could say 'implement stringent regulations.'
task achievement
Ensure all points are fully developed and supported with evidence. For example, you could elaborate more on the reasons behind why hunting is prevalent among wealthy people.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies hunting as a primary cause of animal extinction, providing relevant statistics.
coherence cohesion
Both introduction and conclusion are present, and they clearly define the problem and propose a solution.
task achievement
Real-life examples, such as those from Japan and India, were used to support your main points, adding credibility to the essay.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • species extinction
  • endangered animals
  • biodiversity
  • habitat loss
  • deforestation
  • urbanization
  • poaching
  • illegal wildlife trade
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • conservation efforts
  • legislation
  • enforcement
  • human overpopulation
  • sustainable development
  • responsible consumption
  • education
  • awareness programs
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • international cooperation
  • collaboration
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