At the present time, populations of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages whats ypur opinion?
In the present world, some countries has a population which is majorly young. If
this
man power is used in a right way Linking Words
then
it would be very beneficial for the economic growth of the nation. Linking Words
However
, if Linking Words
this
is not managed properly Linking Words
then
it will lead to poverty, unemployment problems. Linking Words
This
essay will discuss the advantages and the disadvantages of the country that has a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Linking Words
Firstly
, one of the prime benefit of a generation which is not old is that with proper educational support, the country can use these adults to build world class technology, military, and infrastructure. The number of individuals working would be on upsurge so do the GDP. Linking Words
For Example
: An article published by The Hindu, mentions that India's 30% of the citizens are below 20 years old. Linking Words
Therefore
Government is focusing on education in engineering, medical, science field for it to become a technology, mnufacturing and research hub . Linking Words
Also
, not only military personal whose ages are between 15-30 has grown. But Linking Words
also
, India is now the 3rd highest economy.
Linking Words
However
, there are Linking Words
also
few disadvantages if Linking Words
this
teenagers are not given right educational support and if there is no employment generated Linking Words
then
Linking Words
this
can push the country into poverty. It can Linking Words
also
force individuals to indulge in crimes. Linking Words
For instance
: South African countries have teenagers who don't have access to schools or college, and Linking Words
also
no proper jobs are available for them. Linking Words
Therefore
, crimes, unemployment rate, hunger, and poverty are at it's peak. Linking Words
This
has forced them to do robbery, murder, and terrorist attacks just for a few thousand dollars.
In conclusion, of course in the above case the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. With correct decisions and policies formed the young human resource can be used as a tool for development.Linking Words
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task response
Ensure subject-verb agreement is correct throughout the essay. For example, 'some countries has' should be 'some countries have.'
task response
Elaborate more on the advantages and disadvantages with additional specific examples and deeper analysis.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea and that the transitions between points and paragraphs are smooth for better coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Avoid grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, 'if this man power is used in a right way' should be 'if this manpower is used in the right way.'
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear progression with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task response
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the reference to India's youthful population and South African countries.
task response
Your ideas are clearly expressed and easy to follow.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?