Some people think governments should spend money on the arts, while others believe it should be spent on public services. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The use of public money has always been a controversial issue. Some people believe that governments should spend more money on the arts,
while
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others think it should be invested in public
services
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. Both
sectors
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are important, but I believe that spending money on public
services
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brings more benefits to society. On the one hand, it is important to invest in the cultural life of society. A well-developed art sector can attract tourists and bring benefits for local businesses. In general, investing in art is a long-term investment which can
also
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support other
sectors
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of the economy in the future.
For example
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, many countries with a strong cultural sector
also
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have a stable economy. These revenues can later be used to support other areas, including public
services
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. A good example is France, where income from tourism helps the government maintain funding for different public
sectors
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.
On the other hand
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, public
services
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such
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as education and healthcare meet the basic needs of the population and contribute to the country’s development.
Moreover
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, these
sectors
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often suffer from a lack of funding, so governments should prioritise them.
For instance
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, Scandinavian countries invest heavily in social
services
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.
As a result
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, they usually rank very high in terms of quality of life, education, healthcare and environmental standards. I strongly support
this
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view because public
services
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are a vital part of a country's development. In conclusion,
although
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art is an essential part of society, the importance of public
services
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outweighs the benefits of investing in the arts.

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task response
Add one more clear reason for why art should get money. This will make both sides more even.
task response
Explain your opinion a little more in the second body part, not only at the end.
task response
Some examples are good, but they are a bit general. Add one more exact detail to make them stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Use a clearer topic sentence at the start of each body paragraph to guide the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Link one idea to the next more smoothly inside paragraphs with simple words like also, because, and so.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is easy to follow, but a few points could be developed more before moving to the next idea.
task response
You answer all parts of the question and give a clear opinion.
task response
Your main ideas are relevant and stay on the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction, two body parts, and a conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
Your paragraphs are in a logical order and easy to follow.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general
What to do next:
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