IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The number of children that read for fun has dropped dramatically in recent years. What are the reasons for this? How can we encourage children to read more?

#children #fun #years
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In the contemporary era, reading skills are significantly reduced in the age group
of
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apply
show examples
below 18 years.There are various causes for
this
 scenario
such
 as distractions from mobile phones and lots of advertising available for every
items
Change to a singular noun
item
show examples
,
whereas
 the measures can be taken like
,
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apply
show examples
promoting
value
Add an article
the value
show examples
 of
this
 module as much as possible.My viewpoints are mentioned in the
details
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detail
show examples
 in the following paragraphs.
To begin
 with,children are avoiding reading for entertainment nowadays.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
 and foremost reason is they have alternatives for
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 fun.To elaborate,in the past,pupils
have
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 very limited options for enjoyment
therefore
 they
were tends
Change the verb form
tended
show examples
 to spend time
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apply
show examples
in
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apply
show examples
reading comic books,
while
 now,they have enough
varities are
Verb problem
variety
show examples
 available for entertainment
such
 as video games,mobile phones and laptops.
For instance
, a survey conducted in the USA revealed that the
sell
Replace the word
sale
show examples
 of comic books
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 been reducing
since
Change preposition
for
show examples
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 three years,which
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
clearly states
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how the reading
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
show examples
 of pupils
is
Verb problem
have
show examples
 changed.
Furthermore
,
as
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apply
show examples
 the advancement of technology is
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
 day by day ,which can cause
this
 issue.Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 lots of
informations
Change the wording
information
pieces of information
show examples
 are available for
single
Add an article
a single
show examples
 product in the market and youngsters get bore with
those kind
Change the determiner
that kind
those kinds
show examples
 of data.
Thus
,they are less interested in reading for fun anymore.
However
, to deal with
this
 problem,there are some robust strategies
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 help.
Firstly
,the authorities can spread
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about the reading module.In
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
,
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
child
Add a verb
child is
child was
show examples
 aware
with
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the importance of reading,he can try to spend some time
in
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apply
show examples
reading
while
doing
Verb problem
having
show examples
 fun.
For example
,I read
one
Correct determiner usage
an
show examples
 article in the newspaper
last
 month, which
demonstartes
Correct your spelling
demonstrates
 how the government of
japan
Capitalize word
Japan
show examples
 using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology to
influnce
Correct your spelling
influence
 students
for reading
Change preposition
to read
show examples
.
Secondaly
Correct your spelling
Secondly
,the
authorites
Correct your spelling
authorities
 can make some rules
Correct word choice
and regulation
show examples
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
 to tackle
this
 issue.
Therefore
,these solutions can be fruitful to draw
attention
Add an article
the attention
show examples
 of children towards reading.
To conclude
,it can be eventually commented that scanning
skill
Fix the agreement mistake
skills
show examples
 is compromised by people under 18
due to
 distractions and the popularity of advertising,
whereas
 some measures
such
 as
awreness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 and rules can
be play
Change the verb form
play
show examples
vital
Add an article
a vital
show examples
 role in
this
 situation.
Submitted by pp6859 on

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task achievement
Try to be more specific and precise in your examples.
coherence cohesion
Break up your sentences; some are too long and become run-on sentences, making them hard to follow.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to proofread for small grammatical errors and typos, such as 'he can' should be 'he or she can', and 'sell' should be 'sale'.
task achievement
Consider adding more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will make your argument stronger.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the reasons and the solutions.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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