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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #professionals #doctors #engineers #work #country
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The issue of whether
professionals
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 as doctors and engineers should be compelled to practice in the
country
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 they trained in or be allowed to practice in any
country
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 of their choice is a contentious one. Each side has its reasonable points, which are related to the general concerns of national investment, global mobility, and personal freedom. On one hand, those who support the need to retain
professionals
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 argue that it is only right that the
country
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 gets a return on the investment made in the training of
such
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 personnel. Medical and engineering training are usually supported by a lot of government subsidies. These
professionals
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work
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 locally to help alleviate national shortages and are valuable members of society.
This
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 can help avoid a situation where talented people move to other countries to seek better opportunities,
thus
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 hampering their own
country
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’s progress.
For example
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, countries with shortages of healthcare would be better off if trained doctors stayed behind to attend to the population.
On the other hand
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, proponents of the ability to
work
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 from anywhere argue that it is about freedom of choice and talent mobility. Employees should not be limited by the borders and should look for a job
that is
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 more suitable for them or that pays more and provides better conditions.
For instance
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, an engineer from a
country
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 with a high level of employment may be able to make a difference in a developing
country
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.
However
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,
such
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 experience can be useful for their home
country
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 if they decide to come back after working in another
country
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. It is always better to have a balance.
However
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, it can be restrictive to impose mandatory
work
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 requirements
while
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 acknowledging the home
country
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’s investment. Rather, countries should provide incentives for
professionals
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 to remain in their home
country
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through
Change preposition
by
show examples
 offering better remuneration packages and working conditions. Bond programs where
professionals
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work
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 in a particular region for a certain time in exchange for partially funded education could be a middle ground. Once they have fulfilled
this
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 bond, they should be allowed to practice in any place they wish to.
Therefore
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,
while
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 it is necessary to retain trained
professionals
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, it is equally important to respect the freedom of individuals and their ability to move across borders. It is better to offer bonuses
instead
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 of limiting the opportunities of talented people and keeping them in the company.
Submitted by minhlieu.hnd on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a single clear central idea. For example, separate the ideas about providing incentives and bond programs into different paragraphs for clarity.
Task Achievement
Try to incorporate more specific examples and data to strengthen your argument. For example, mention specific countries or actual statistics about healthcare shortages.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which effectively frame the discussion.
Task Achievement
Both sides of the argument are well-presented, demonstrating a balanced view which enhances the complexity of the response.
Task Achievement
The writing achieves a good level of clarity and logical progression between ideas.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • professionals
  • doctors
  • engineers
  • required
  • training
  • home country
  • cultural
  • linguistic
  • advantages
  • economic impact
  • free
  • another country
  • globalization
  • international collaboration
  • improving
  • skills
  • knowledge
  • experience
  • opinion
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