Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and give your opinion.

#people #sports #effect #child’s #education

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In recent times,

sports

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competitions are equipped in the high school curriculum. There is a growing belief that competitive

sports

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engage in providing

Wrong verb form

provide

show examples

a profound impact on the child's education,

while

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others do not support

this

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idea. I would argue that

sports

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contests have pros and cons.

This

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essay will examine the argument. First and foremost,

sports

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play a crucial role contributing in to the educational system. Football league,

for instance

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, in the USA high school, government have placed sport time, twice per week as they believe that physical activities can improve students' physical health and mental resilience.

Due to

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numerous activities have been involved during the training session.

Therefore

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, they can learn how to improve their health to be better, self-control, and well-being

while

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they are playing

sports

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On the other hand

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, there is the contrasting idea that physical games can have negative impacts on their children's studies. In some cases, children cannot control their feelings,

while

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they are falling into a particular competition.

This

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, in turn, diminishes the academic pursuit. Some end up not going to school since they are embarrassed by their classmates

due to

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their failure.

Furthermore

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, those who aim to get the winner will fall apart and lead to depression.

Consequently

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, some parents do not allow their kids to play

sports

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, and focus only studies. In conclusion,

sports

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competitions have pros and cons.

Although

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there are several negative aspects,

such

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as they will be reducing study motivation, and exacerbating mental issues, I firmly believe that the positive impact of

sports

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can help children to have health stronger and psychological resilience.

Submitted by Date on Wed Jul 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that your essay maintains a clear and logical structure throughout. While you have presented both sides of the argument, some points could be better organized to improve the overall flow of your essay. Consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to your language use and grammar. There are a few inaccuracies that affect clarity, such as "government have placed sport time" and "this, in turn, diminishes the academic pursuit." Focus on subject-verb agreement and the precision of your language.

task achievement

While you have provided some relevant examples, strive to include more specific details to strengthen your arguments. Examples like the football league in the USA are useful, but adding data or concrete outcomes could make them more convincing.

task achievement

Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, which is essential for a balanced discussion. This demonstrates a comprehensive understanding of the topic.

coherence cohesion

You have included an introduction and conclusion in your essay, both of which are well structured and provide a clear framework for your argument.

task achievement

The ideas presented in your essay are generally clear and relevant to the topic. You've managed to convey your points effectively which keeps the reader engaged.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people think that competitive sports have a positive effect on the child’s education, while others argue it is not so. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages, and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

In recent years, online shopping has become increasingly popular. Some people think such a shopping method is beneficial, while others believe it creates more problems than it solves. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that children should start school at a very early age, but others believe that children should not go to school until they are older. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate on all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. Discuss both views and give your opinion.