You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Many believe that modern technology has brought people together, but others say that it has driven us apart. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

#minutes #topic #technology #people #viewpoints

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Nowadays, the spread of new ways of communication using technology changed the relationships between

people

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, it is discussed whether in a better way or not. Surely modern mobile phones have shortened the physical distance between

people

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, but

also

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have moved the focus on the online world

instead

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of the real one.

This

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essay will explore both the advantages and disadvantages of

this

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question. First of all, the invention of social media and the internet has improved how to keep connections and meet other

people

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. Indeed, using the World Wide Web and all modern technologies has allowed

people

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to contact others all around the globe, without distance being an obstacle to relationships.

For example

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, many employees could be used to travel around very often

due to

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their jobs and videocalls make it easier for them to keep in touch with their families and friends.

Furthermore

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, creating new friendships and meeting

people

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is now accessible to everyone using only their smartphone and some apps.

This

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could lead to unexpected encounters linking together individuals who may not have had the chance to bump into each other.

On the other hand

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, being absorbed into a virtual reality results in losing the real moments and values of life.

This

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due to

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the fact that being online is addicting, taking all the free time during everyday life.

For instance

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, it is common to prefer scrolling through your profile after a long day of work than going for a walk or enjoying the little things provided to us by nature. To go on, abusing social media could lead to a dramatic change of values, leading to an appearance-based society where all that matters is how someone or something looks. In conclusion, recent technologies allowed us to break the space and time barriers between populations,

however

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, led to the creation of an alternative universe that could divert our minds. In my view, all these inventions kept individuals closer than ever, but they have to be used in moderation, not becoming the centre of our lives.

Submitted by matilderestelli.work on Sun Sep 29 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay has a good structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next by using more connective phrases and sentences.

coherence cohesion

To enhance the cohesiveness of your essay, focus on linking ideas more fluidly within and between paragraphs. Using transition words and phrases will help in improving the flow of ideas.

task achievement

You have responded well to the task by discussing both viewpoints and providing your opinion. Try to provide more detailed and diverse examples to support your points. This will demonstrate a deeper engagement with the topic.

task achievement

To make your ideas clearer and more comprehensive, elaborate on points with additional explanations or examples. This will help in presenting a more thorough discussion of each viewpoint.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your arguments.

task achievement

You have successfully included both viewpoints as requested by the task, showing a balanced discussion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

338 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Fostering
Global connections
Isolation
Diminished
Face-to-face interactions
Cultural and geographical divides
Paradox
Social media
Alienating
Family dynamics
Echo chambers
Polarize
Marginalized communities
Inclusivity
Maintaining relationships
Evolution of communication
Instant messaging
Video calls
Technological advances
Collaboration
Remote isolation

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Your opinion

In many countries governments are investing in new technology to deal with the public. Why is this happening? Do you think this is an appropriate use of government money?

An increasing number of larger shopping areas, malls and department stores are leading to the decline of smaller corner shops. what are the advantages and disadvantages of shopping in larger shopping centers rather than smaller, more traditional shops?

In many countries import food from other contry of the world.what are the advantages and disadvantages of this kasur.

Education is not a luxury, but a basic human right and as such should be free for everyone irrespective of personal wealth. Do you agree or disagree?