New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

#technologies #children #time #outweigh #experiences

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Technologies have changed from

time

;in current days technologies have taken a very advanced and fundamental place in the globe.The new generation especially children spend their leisure

time

earning

Correct your spelling

learning

show examples

new things or solutions to problems,and some of them use it to play games in their free

time

.Today I am going to explain and give examples,of why the advantages of

this

outweigh the disadvantages. First of all,the advantages of obtaining new automation are very important in daily life.

Furthermore

, most

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new machinery to make life easier.

For example

,if you want to buy

do grocery

Wrong verb form

groceries

show examples

you can order them by clicking on one button only, it saves you plenty of

time

In other words

, you can do shopping online,

while

sitting at home. Second all, most people use technology for educational purposes,

For instance

, the government placed

a new rules

Correct the article-noun agreement

new rules

a new rule

show examples

to avoid spending

paper

Change preposition

on paper

show examples

, and

for

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

the authorities provide computers and laptops to government schools,colleges and universities.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

there are some disadvantages of technology, where many children's brains getting divert in

negative

Change the article

a negative

show examples

way, and paying lack attention to their studies.

Moreover

, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it has many privileges.

In addition

, nowadays, the studies are exorbitant; and many people can't pay the education fees.

Such

as, now anyone can educate him or herself by learning online with the technology. In conclusion, as per my knowledge and experience; there are many people who love to learn and gain new information, and new machinery made that possible today. The huge companies give opportunities to those who know about automation.

Submitted by ismailalmarri0 on Wed Jul 24 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow of your argument. Ensure your ideas follow a clear pattern and are systematically linked.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

task achievement

Good effort in addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of new technologies concerning children's free time.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a clear beginning and end.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

1 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Accessibility
Enhanced learning opportunities
Deepen their understanding
Confines of the classroom
Cognitive development
Strategic thinking
Reduced face-to-face interaction
Hinder social skills development
Excessive screen time
Physical well-being
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate content
Internet safety
Critical thinking

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New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Some university students want to learn about other subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others believe it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for a qualification.

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some business observe that new employees who just graduated from a college or university seem to lack interpersonal skills needed for communicaion with their colleagues. What could be the reason for this? What solution can help address this problem?

Today, more and more people are waiting until their thirties to get married and have children. Do you think it is a positive or negative trend?

Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?