New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

#technologies #children #time #outweigh #experiences

Technologies have changed from

time

;in current days technologies have taken a very advanced and fundamental place in the globe.The new generation especially children spend their leisure

time

earning

Correct your spelling

learning

show examples

new things or solutions to problems,and some of them use it to play games in their free

time

.Today I am going to explain and give examples,of why the advantages of

this

outweigh the disadvantages. First of all,the advantages of obtaining new automation are very important in daily life.

Furthermore

, most

nation

Fix the agreement mistake

nations

show examples

use

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new machinery to make life easier.

For example

,if you want to buy

do grocery

Wrong verb form

groceries

show examples

you can order them by clicking on one button only, it saves you plenty of

time

In other words

, you can do shopping online,

while

sitting at home. Second all, most people use technology for educational purposes,

For instance

, the government placed

a new rules

Correct the article-noun agreement

new rules

a new rule

show examples

to avoid spending

paper

Change preposition

on paper

show examples

, and

for

this

reason

Add a comma

reason,

show examples

the authorities provide computers and laptops to government schools,colleges and universities.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

there are some disadvantages of technology, where many children's brains getting divert in

negative

Change the article

a negative

show examples

way, and paying lack attention to their studies.

Moreover

, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

it has many privileges.

In addition

, nowadays, the studies are exorbitant; and many people can't pay the education fees.

Such

as, now anyone can educate him or herself by learning online with the technology. In conclusion, as per my knowledge and experience; there are many people who love to learn and gain new information, and new machinery made that possible today. The huge companies give opportunities to those who know about automation.

Submitted by ismailalmarri0 on Wed Jul 24 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Try to improve the logical flow of your argument. Ensure your ideas follow a clear pattern and are systematically linked.

task achievement

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more persuasive.

task achievement

Good effort in addressing both the advantages and disadvantages of new technologies concerning children's free time.

coherence cohesion

Introduction and conclusion are present, giving your essay a clear beginning and end.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

261 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

Accessibility
Enhanced learning opportunities
Deepen their understanding
Confines of the classroom
Cognitive development
Strategic thinking
Reduced face-to-face interaction
Hinder social skills development
Excessive screen time
Physical well-being
Cyberbullying
Inappropriate content
Internet safety
Critical thinking

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7.5
band
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Recently, people of working age have been accounting for the vast majority of the demography within several nations, in comparison with the elderly. This trend brings both merits and demerits, but from my perspective, its negative effects prevail over the positive ones.
7
band
Researches show that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of food products should be banned in the same way as the cigarettes advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
There is no doubt that overeating may be causing various detrimental health issues, like smoking. Therefore, I agree with the statement that advertisements are the most powerful marketing tool for publicizing manufactured goods among customers. Some countries have imposed restrictions on product commercialization because advertisements may be harmful, like smoking. In the following paragraphs, I will provide arguments to support my opinion.
5.5
band
Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
It is said that parents should motivate their children to participate in group programmes during their spare time, while others have the opinion that children should know how to keep themselves occupied. If children are allowed to take part in group activities, they will learn how to mingle and work with various people, building a sense of unity. On the other hand, if they can find their own task to do, they can be more productive in any talent they like. However, in my opinion, it is better that children choose which method is best for them as each person is different, some may be introverts and some extroverts, who would only do better if left free in a surrounding they are comfortable in.
5.5
band
In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.
In today's market, many corporations emphasize their use of recent technologies and methods to produce innovative goods. While the efficiency of these new products may not always be absolute, this essay contends that they generally prove more effective than older counterparts, a trend driven by both consumer preferences and societal benefits.
7
band
Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your
Various controversies have emerged as to whether the government should spend taxes on health care or other crucial sectors. Some people insist that healthcare systems are vital to their countries, especially for those with enormous elderly people. Nevertheless, I believe that taxes should be distributed to different areas.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Researches show that overeating is as harmful as smoking. Therefore, the advertisements of food products should be banned in the same way as the cigarettes advertising is banned in many countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people say that parents should encourage their children to take part in organised group activities in their free time. Others say that it is important for children to learn how to occupy themselves on their own. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasise that their products are new in some way. Why is this? Do you think it is a positive or negative development? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant example for your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say that when deciding how taxes are spent, government should prioritize health care. Others think that there are more important priorities for tax-payers’ money. Discuss both views and give your

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+