IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

You have seen an advertisement from a couple, who live in australia, for someone to teach their two children your language for a year. Write a letter to the couple, In your letter -explain why you think you would be suitable for the job -Say what else you could do for the family -give your reasons for wanting the job

#advertisement #couple #australia #someone #two #children #language #year #-explain #job #-say #-give
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Dear Mrs Smith The reason I am writing to you is to inform you of my willingness to teach your children.
To begin
 with, the moment I saw the advertisement, I understood that
this
 was my perfect chance to get back to teaching. I successfully finished Oxnard Literature University and English is my native language. I have teaching experience of 5 years.
In addition
, whenever I have an opportunity, I attend all the courses for
further
 qualifications. I adore working with children and I have never had any problems with them.
Secondly
, I can fluently speak not only English but
also
 German, Ukrainian and Italian.
Therefore
, I can offer additional classes for your children.
Moreover
, my learning program includes playing different interactive games and plans differently for each kid.
Additionally
, I have been teaching kids since 2017, and there are a lot of them who can easily speak English. To be clear, your location suits me because I live the next street higher.
Also
, I am completely satisfied with a salary.
To sum up
, let me know as soon as you decide. You can contact me by number +480332112311. I look forward to your reply Kseniia
Submitted by ksrnnn on

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coherence cohesion
You've done a great job structuring your letter logically, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a single idea. This makes your letter very clear and easy to follow.
coherence cohesion
To enhance the greeting and closing of your letters, consider adding a more personalized touch or a note of appreciation for the opportunity the advertisement presents. This could help make your letter feel more engaging and warm.
task achievement
Your response thoroughly addresses the task, showing your suitability for the job, what else you could offer the family, and your reasons for wanting the position. This demonstrates a strong understanding of the task requirements.
task achievement
The tone of your letter is suitable and professional, yet friendly, which is ideal for this kind of communication. Keep using this balanced approach in your future writings.
Logical Structure
Effective structure with clear, focused paragraphs.
Complete Response
Successfully conveyed enthusiasm and qualifications for the teaching position.
Suitable Writing Tone
Use of a respectful and enthusiastic tone, appropriate for a job application letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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