IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You will go to foreign country for one year and write a letter to agency to find an accommodation for you. Why are you going to that country What do you want for your accommodation When will you arrive

#country #year #agency #accommodation
Dear Sir, I am writing
this
 letter with regard to finding suitable accommodation
according to
 my needs in Abbotsford, Canada for one year. I have
taken
Verb problem
been
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admission
Replace the word
admitted
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in
Change preposition
to
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 the University of Fraser Valley, Abbotsford, BC, Canada for
one
Correct determiner usage
a
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year
Correct your spelling
one-year
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 diploma in General Arts.
That is
 why, I am looking for a place to stay near my university. I am afraid to tell you that I have several requirements for accommodation.
First,
I cannot live in sharing because I am vegetarian and most Canadians eat meat.
Second,
I prefer a
single bedroom
Add a hyphen
single-bedroom
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 apartment over a room in the basement because I feel suffocated in the basement.
Third,
I have a dog too, who is going to come
along with
 me.
Therefore
, it has to be pet-friendly.
Lastly
, you must want to know about my arrival in Canada, which would be August 25th, 2024.
However
, I am going to stay with my relatives till August 31st and I will be ready to move into a new place on 1st of September. Please let me know if you need any
further
 information. Yours faithfully, Sandeep Kaur
Submitted by ksamandeep03 on

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task achievement
You mentioned that you prefer a single bedroom apartment and that it has to be pet-friendly. Clarifying if there are any additional preferences or needs for your accommodation (e.g., proximity to public transport, budget range) could provide a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
In terms of coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph sticks closely to a single idea. For example, the paragraph about your requirements could be split into two: one focusing on the preference for a non-sharing, single bedroom apartment, and the other on the pet-friendly aspect, for better readability.
suitable writing tone
The letter has a very polite and formal tone, which is excellent for this context.
logical structure
The structure is clear and logical, with a greeting, clear explanation of your request and needs, and a closing. Excellent job!
single idea per paragraph
Each of your paragraphs has a specific focus, making the letter easy to follow.
complete response
You included all necessary information: reason for the stay, accommodation requirements, and arrival details. Very thorough!
greeting and closing
The closing is appropriate and polite. Well done!
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