Some people think that if a country is already rich, further economic development will not result in its citizens being any happier. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Although

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many individuals have the opinion that additional economic advancements will not benefit the inhabitants of an already rich country,

however

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, I strongly disagree with

this

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view.

This

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essay will

further

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expatiate on both takes with some examples and references. Actually, some people may agree with the initial opinion for a few reasons. One is that when a nation is rich, there are higher tendency to have a sustainable level of development,

hence

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, its citizens live comfortably.

Additionally

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, good-paying jobs with a great level of financial stability would be expected in

such

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a society.

For instance

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, Great Britain recorded a significant level of growth over the past ten years and

according to

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statistics, minimal variations were found in the figures over the years despite excellent and newer economic decisions.

Therefore

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, a stable economy was achieved.

Although

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, to a reasonable extent,

this

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opinion might be factual, I completely disagree with it for some reasons. The

mos

Correct your spelling

most

important one is that a financially buoyant nation maintains its income with good economic decisions.

In other words

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, a failed state is one with poor policies. So,

this

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means that, when better fiscal and political choices that will improve the economy are made in a nation, they continue to positively affect its citizens and make them happier.

For instance

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, despite the fact that the United States of America is a first-world country, the proactive decisions made during the COVID-19 pandemic were able to pull them through.

Moreover

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, better choices and improvements in other lagging sectors were

also

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recorded. In conclusion,

while

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there could be a lot of factors to back what people feel about an already wealthy country, I believe that the right reforms and economic advancement directly promote good living among its residents, making them more relaxed and able to enjoy better.

Submitted by peteromisakin on Wed Jul 24 2024

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task response

Your essay covers both sides of the argument well, presenting a balanced view. However, try to make sure each point is clearly explained and supported by specific examples or evidence. For instance, while you mentioned Great Britain and the United States, there wasn't a deep dive into how these examples support your argument.

task response

Work on the clarity and specificity of your ideas. Ensure that your main points are not only clear but also comprehensive. Provide more detailed justifications for your opinions and specific examples that directly relate to the points you are making.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a logical structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. However, the transitions between ideas can be smoother. Consider using more linking words or phrases to guide the reader through your arguments seamlessly.

introduction conclusion present

Your introduction effectively sets up the essay topic and clearly states your position. This is a strong start that helps the reader understand your stance from the beginning.

introduction conclusion present

You provided a good conclusion that succinctly summarizes your main points and restates your opinion, which is important for coherence and leaving a strong impression on the reader.

supported main points

Your main points are supported by relevant examples. This shows that you are able to connect theoretical arguments with practical, real-world situations.

14
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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