IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Millions of dollars are spent on space research evey year. Some people argue that the money should be spent on improving living standards on Earth. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some people think that a nation should spend a lot of money on
space
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research
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work
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 periodically and people say that amount should be spent on the
development
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work
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 of the
country
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such
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 as education , infrastructure, poverty etc . I partially agree with
this
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 point of view and
further
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 in
this
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 essay , I will explain
this
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 both are important whether it is
development
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 or
research
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 for a nation with some examples.
To begin
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 with , There is no doubt that
space
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research
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work
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 not only gives fame to the
country
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 but if a project is successful
then
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 it
also
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 enhances the economy of the state.
For Example
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 , The New York Times revealed that NASA sent some astronauts to
space
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 in 2016 for
research
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 on the planet and researchers have done incredible
work
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 by getting some informative information about
space
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as a result
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 in 2016 there was an immense boom in America's economy.
Secondly
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 , Developing countries should not spend more money on
space
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research
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 .
Firstly
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 , the Government should focus on internal
development
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 .
For instance
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 , in South Sweden, 80% of people are illiterate because of
this
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 reason Sweden is a poor nation among other countries .
In addition
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 ,there an authority should concentrate on giving education to the forthcoming generation because they are the future of the
country
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.
To conclude
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 , I believe that the government should only spend a minimum amount on
space
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research
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work
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 so that it should not affect other
development
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 of the
country
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 like education , and infrastructure because
this
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 is
also
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 helping the
country
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 to boost the economy.

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task achievement
Your essay partially addresses the task by presenting both sides of the argument. However, it could be enhanced by providing a more balanced discussion and including more real-life examples where space research has significantly impacted a nation's economy or development.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure, but some sentences could be better connected to improve the flow. Use linking phrases and conjunctions more effectively to create a smoother transition between your points.
general english
There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that should be corrected for a higher score. Pay attention to verb tenses and prepositions.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your partial agreement and sets the stage for discussing both aspects of the argument.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoint and reinforces the importance of balancing space research and internal development.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • everyday life
  • global challenges
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • resource management
  • scientific knowledge
  • future generations
  • educational growth
  • international collaboration
  • peace and unity
  • immediate issues
  • poverty
  • healthcare
  • urgent funding
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