Some pople think that wild animals should not be kept in Zoos. Others, believe that there are good reasons of having Zoos. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some
civilince
Correct your spelling
civilians
believe that wild
animals
must not
kept
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be kept
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoo
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zoos
show examples
while
others think that zoos
are exist
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exist
show examples
for a reason.Well,I neither agree with the first opinion nor agree with the second. On the one
hand
Add a comma
hand,
show examples
people who see that
animals
should'
Correct your spelling
shouldn't
t
kept
Add a missing verb
be kept
show examples
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have their own reasons.First of all, they see it as
unhuman
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inhuman
show examples
action because
puting
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putting
wild
animals
in the
zoo
can take their freedom and can put them in a new environment which they didn'
t
use to
normaly
Correct your spelling
normally
live in.
Moreover
,they believe that will affect the attitude of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
these
animals
so a
alot
Correct your spelling
lot
a lot
of new
researchs
Correct your spelling
research
researches
show
Correct subject-verb agreement
shows
show examples
that
animal
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animals
show examples
who
kept
Add a missing verb
are kept
show examples
in a
zoo
have a
diffirent
Correct your spelling
different
attitude from those who live in their
orignal
Correct your spelling
original
area.
In addition
,some wild
animals
can
heart
Verb problem
harm
show examples
people who are going to the
zoo
and they see that
as a result
of
keping
Correct your spelling
keeping
them in a cage which they don'
t
see it comfortable.
On the other hand
,there are others who see that it's ok for
animals
to be kept in a
zoo
and they
also
have their own reasons.
For example
,they see that
keping
Correct your spelling
keeping
animals
in the
zoo
will not harm them and they will get
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good care there .
Moreover
,they think that
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
wild
animals
in the
zoo
is going to give people information about the
animals
which can be useful.
Finally
,they reckon
puting alot
Correct your spelling
putting a lot
of
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
in the
zoo
is going to help them to live better because they will get a good amount of food and water which
sometime
Fix the agreement mistake
sometimes
show examples
they can'
t
get in their normal area. To
coclude
Correct your spelling
conclude
we can say,
Correct word choice
that puting
show examples
puting
Correct your spelling
putting
animals
in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoo
Fix the agreement mistake
zoos
show examples
can harm them but
sometime
Replace the word
sometimes
show examples
that can help them in certain ways.
Submitted by yousefreyad55 on

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task achievement
In order to improve your essay, ensure that you elaborate on your points with more specific and varied examples. Discussing specific animals or zoos could strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on organizing your essay more logically. Use paragraphs more effectively to separate different points of view and consider adding transition sentences for smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced discussion of both views on keeping animals in zoos, showing an attempt to explore different perspectives.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps frame your discussion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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