There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many factors influence
individuals
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to remain in the workforce, with financial security often cited as the most significant reason.
While
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I agree that money is a crucial motivator, I believe that other factors,
such
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as personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
, career growth, and social interaction,
also
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play a vital role in keeping
people
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employed.
Firstly
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, financial stability is undoubtedly a primary reason why
people
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continue working. Many
individuals
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need a steady income to cover living expenses, pay off debts, or secure their future through savings and investments.
For example
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, in expensive cities like New York or London, many professionals delay retirement to maintain their lifestyle and financial independence.
Additionally
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, some
individuals
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support their families, funding their children’s education or assisting elderly parents, making money a strong incentive to stay employed.
However
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, beyond financial needs, many
people
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work for personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
and a sense of purpose. A career provides
individuals
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with a structured routine, goals, and the opportunity to make meaningful contributions.
For instance
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, doctors, teachers, and artists often continue working long after achieving financial stability because they find joy and satisfaction in their profession.
Moreover
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, the workplace fosters social interactions and professional growth. Many
individuals
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remain in their jobs because they enjoy collaborating with colleagues, engaging in intellectual discussions, or gaining new skills.
This
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is particularly true in dynamic fields like technology and research, where continuous learning keeps professionals motivated. In conclusion,
while
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money is a major factor in keeping
people
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in the workforce, other aspects
such
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as personal
fulfillment
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fulfilment
show examples
, career advancement, and social engagement are equally important. A fulfilling job goes beyond financial rewards, offering purpose and growth, which motivates many to remain employed even when financial concerns are minimal.

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Task Achievement
While your arguments are clear, consider providing a more thorough exploration of each point to enhance your essay further. For instance, including more specific examples of individuals who prioritize personal fulfillment over financial gain could strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a logical flow, but using transitional phrases could improve it even more. For example, using phrases like 'In addition to this,' when introducing new points could enhance coherence.
Task Achievement
Your essay exhibits a well-balanced discussion on the topic, presenting multiple perspectives, which is commendable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, providing a strong end to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial security
  • basic needs
  • career advancement
  • pension
  • job satisfaction
  • sense of purpose
  • social connections
  • workplace relationships
  • intellectual stimulation
  • societal norms
  • earning potential
  • motivation
  • livelihood
  • financial independence
  • professional growth
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