There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Many factors influence

individuals

Use synonyms

to remain in the workforce, with financial security often cited as the most significant reason.

While

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I agree that money is a crucial motivator, I believe that other factors,

such

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as personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, career growth, and social interaction,

also

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play a vital role in keeping

people

Use synonyms

employed.

Firstly

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, financial stability is undoubtedly a primary reason why

people

Use synonyms

continue working. Many

individuals

Use synonyms

need a steady income to cover living expenses, pay off debts, or secure their future through savings and investments.

For example

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, in expensive cities like New York or London, many professionals delay retirement to maintain their lifestyle and financial independence.

Additionally

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, some

individuals

Use synonyms

support their families, funding their children’s education or assisting elderly parents, making money a strong incentive to stay employed.

However

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, beyond financial needs, many

people

Use synonyms

work for personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

and a sense of purpose. A career provides

individuals

Use synonyms

with a structured routine, goals, and the opportunity to make meaningful contributions.

For instance

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, doctors, teachers, and artists often continue working long after achieving financial stability because they find joy and satisfaction in their profession.

Moreover

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, the workplace fosters social interactions and professional growth. Many

individuals

Use synonyms

remain in their jobs because they enjoy collaborating with colleagues, engaging in intellectual discussions, or gaining new skills.

This

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is particularly true in dynamic fields like technology and research, where continuous learning keeps professionals motivated. In conclusion,

while

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money is a major factor in keeping

people

Use synonyms

in the workforce, other aspects

such

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as personal

fulfillment

Change the spelling

fulfilment

show examples

, career advancement, and social engagement are equally important. A fulfilling job goes beyond financial rewards, offering purpose and growth, which motivates many to remain employed even when financial concerns are minimal.

sukhveer4352Thu Mar 13 2025

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Task Achievement

While your arguments are clear, consider providing a more thorough exploration of each point to enhance your essay further. For instance, including more specific examples of individuals who prioritize personal fulfillment over financial gain could strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

Your essay has a logical flow, but using transitional phrases could improve it even more. For example, using phrases like 'In addition to this,' when introducing new points could enhance coherence.

Task Achievement

Your essay exhibits a well-balanced discussion on the topic, presenting multiple perspectives, which is commendable.

Coherence and Cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, providing a strong end to your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

278 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial security
basic needs
career advancement
pension
job satisfaction
sense of purpose
social connections
workplace relationships
intellectual stimulation
societal norms
earning potential
motivation
livelihood
financial independence
professional growth

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There are several factors that motivate people to stay in the workforce, and money is the most important reason/factor. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries, the amount of household waste like food packaging is increasing? What are the causes of this problem? What measurer could be taken to reduce it?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages

Nowadays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make? Is this a positive or negative development

Digital communication technology such as email, instant messaging and social media, has improved communication and connections between people. to what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Nowadays famous players are followed by young adults some people think it's a positive trend and believe otherwise what do you think is it a positive or negative trend