IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people say that mobile phones should be banned in public places such as libraries, shops and public transport.

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Mobile
phones
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 have become a vital part of modern life, but their use in public spaces like libraries, shops, and public
transport
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 can often be disruptive. I fully agree that mobile
phones
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 should be banned in
such
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places
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 to maintain a peaceful and respectful environment for everyone.
Firstly
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, in
places
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 like libraries, where
people
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 go to study or read in quiet, the constant ringing of
phones
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, message alerts, or
people
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 talking loudly can be very distracting. A library should be a space where individuals can focus without interruptions, and mobile
phones
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 take away from
this
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 atmosphere.
Similarly
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, in shops, customers who are busy on their
phones
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 can cause delays at the checkout or ignore the staff, making the shopping experience slower and less pleasant for everyone involved.
Furthermore
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, public
transport
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 is another area where banning mobile
phones
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 would improve the experience for everyone. Many
people
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 use public
transport
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 to relax, think, or even catch up on sleep during their journey.
However
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, loud phone conversations or music from mobile devices often disturb the peace, making the ride uncomfortable for others. A ban on
phones
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 would ensure that these spaces remain quiet and more enjoyable for all passengers.
In addition
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, banning mobile
phones
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 in public
places
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 could encourage more social interaction.
People
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 are often too absorbed in their screens, missing out on real-life conversations and connections with those around them. If
phones
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 were banned, it could lead to better engagement between
people
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 and a more connected community. In conclusion, banning mobile
phones
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 in public
places
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such
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 as libraries, shops, and public
transport
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 is necessary to maintain a peaceful, respectful environment.
Such
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 a ban would reduce noise and distractions, improve public experiences, and encourage more meaningful social interactions.

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coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion that are all well-defined.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph focuses on a specific point, which shows good organization and logical flow.
task achievement
The arguments presented are clear and comprehensive, covering different aspects of the issue effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Distraction
  • Etiquette
  • Tranquility
  • Prohibit
  • Intrusive
  • Courtesy
  • Essential communication
  • Public decorum
  • Designated areas
  • Safety concerns
  • Noise pollution
  • Digital etiquette
  • Enforcement measures
  • Civic responsibility
  • Silent mode
  • Connectivity
  • Invasiveness
  • Social norms
  • Policy implementation
  • Moderation
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