Some people think travelling abroad is a valuable experience for young people. Others think it wastes too much time and expense. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
Firstly
, we are going to discuss both views equally starting with why do people think traveling
abroad is a valuable experience for young peopleChange the spelling
travelling
?
I honestly agree with them a simple reason is the amount of new things you will be able to experience Change the punctuation
.
such
as food, culture and even the language all of those little details will have an impact on a young person's life those experiences will make them more open minded
to new ideas and easily comfortable with changes Add a hyphen
open-minded
hence
, all those great valuable experiences there is still a downside I totally agree with the people who are saying expense are high but I do not agree that it is a waste of time because in the future the young person will be so thankful for an experience like that at such
a young age and there for
they are going to understand how lucky they were and how it is not a waste of their time or money at all. Correct your spelling
therefor
Lastly
, I do believe if you have the expenses and you are still young between the ages of 21-35 you should do it , you would not regret it you are still young you have a whole life ahead of you what is holding you back you still do not have kids or a wife or anything to worry about only worry about yourself and your future trust me you will be so proud and pleased with yourself in the future do not overthink it just do it.Submitted by alaanoudaltammaami on
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coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing to improve readability. For example, separate the discussion of pros and cons into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
task achievement
Polish your conclusion to give a more decisive opinion. This helps to firmly establish your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Your writing clearly addresses both views, making for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
You present clear ideas and reasons for your opinions, which are easy to follow.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite