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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think travelling abroad is a valuable experience for young people. Others think it wastes too much time and expense. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Firstly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, we are going to discuss both views equally starting with why do people think
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling

The spelling of traveling is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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 abroad is a valuable experience for young people
?
Change the punctuation
.

The punctuation mark may be incorrect here. Consider changing it.

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 I honestly agree with them a simple reason is the amount of new things you will be able to experience
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 as food, culture and even the language all of those little details will have an impact on a young person's life those experiences will make them more
open minded
Add a hyphen
open-minded

It appears that open minded is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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 to new ideas and easily comfortable with changes
hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, all those great valuable experiences there is still a downside I totally agree with the people who are saying expense are high but I do not agree that it is a waste of time because in the future the young person will be so thankful for an experience like that at
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 a young age and
there for
Correct your spelling
therefor

The word there for seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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 they are going to understand how lucky they were and how it is not a waste of their time or money at all.
Lastly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I do believe if you have the expenses and you are still young between the ages of 21-35 you should do it , you would not regret it you are still young you have a whole life ahead of you what is holding you back you still do not have kids or a wife or anything to worry about only worry about yourself and your future trust me you will be so proud and pleased with yourself in the future do not overthink it just do it.

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coherence cohesion
Work on paragraphing to improve readability. For example, separate the discussion of pros and cons into distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more compelling.
task achievement
Polish your conclusion to give a more decisive opinion. This helps to firmly establish your stance on the topic.
task achievement
Your writing clearly addresses both views, making for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
You present clear ideas and reasons for your opinions, which are easy to follow.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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