Nowadays young people spend too much of their free time in shopping malls this hot negative effects on themselves and the society they live in to what extent do you agree or disagree
There are some who believe that a certain group of young residents now spends almost all of their
time
shopping which can lead to some disadvantages in their lives. This
writer totally agrees with that assumption because shopping frequently not only influences finance but also
reduces the energy on other active activities
.
It must be acknowledged that spending too much time
shopping may waste a lot of money as young people
tend to purchase numerous items that are not really necessary to their lives. Additionally
, young people
now are usually attracted to goods that are on a discount and hardly control their pockets. Also
, youngsters buy things just to catch up with the trend without considering their function, so after using them once or twice, they put them in a corner and never use them again. This
current state of indiscriminate shopping has a great impact on the economy and society since it leads to an increase in the amount of trash and harms the environment.
Another point to take into consideration is the waste of time
, shopping in Malls normally takes a lot of time
so young people
have less chance of trying other activities
. Time
spent on shopping can be replaced by participating in life skills classes or sports activities
that can enhance people
's standard of living and improve their health. These active activities
can also
help young people
keep it and reduce stress from work, and it is more beneficial than burning money on shopping recklessly.
In conclusion, spending too much free time
shopping is not just an individual problem but also
influences the community. This
essay gave some benefits of other activities
instead
of spending time
shopping in malls.Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
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task achievement
This essay provides a clear response to the task. However, more specific examples could be beneficial to strengthen the arguments. For instance, providing concrete instances of the negative impact on young people's finances or environment due to excessive shopping would make the points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
The essay holds a logical structure with clear paragraphs dedicated to specific points. However, improving the transitions between ideas in some parts could enhance the flow of the essay. For example, instead of moving directly from one point to another, use transitional words or phrases to guide the reader smoothly from one argument to the next.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and well-done. They clearly outline the essay's stance and summarize the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The arguments are generally coherent and logically structured within paragraphs. Each paragraph deals with a specific disadvantage of young people spending too much time shopping.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt comprehensively, covering multiple dimensions of the issue and providing a clear stance on the matter.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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