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Access to computers has increased radiply today, so the number of children playing computer games has rosen too. What can be Done?

#access #computers #children #computer #games #rosen
Access to computers has increased
radiply
Correct your spelling
rapidly
 today, so the number of children playing computer games has
rosen
Correct your spelling
risen
 too.
This
 essay will discuss the main
problems
 associated with
this
 situation and propose some possible solutions to avoid them. One of the biggest
problems
 is the influence of games on the kids' socialization. They may become socially isolated as they spend more
time
 in
virtual
Add an article
the virtual
a virtual
show examples
 world rather than participating in face-to-face interactions with friends.
Additionally
, frequent meetings with violent or inappropriate content in some games can normalize violence
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 youngsters and negatively impact their
behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
. What's more, prolonged
screen
time
 can badly affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
kids' health. It can contribute to sedentary lifestyles, which may lead to health
problems
such
 as obesity and scoliosis. In my opinion, the best solution to
this
 problem is parental guidance and limit setting. Parents play a crucial role in monitoring their kids' gaming habits and setting appropriate limits. They should make clear rules with minimum
screen
time
 and encourage a healthy balance between gaming and other activities
such
 as outdoor play, reading, and socializing.
Moreover
, education about computer game addiction can be another excellent example of solving
this
 problem. Schools can integrate digital literacy programs that educate children about responsible gaming practices and the potential risks associated with excessive
screen
time
. In conclusion, children's computer game addiction causes a lot of health
problems
, including obesity, scoliosis and mental illnesses. The most effective solution is promoting
active
Add an article
an active
show examples
 lifestyle and limiting
screen
time
 by parents.
Submitted by moon2014angel on

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task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen the arguments. Examples can be drawn from real-life scenarios or studies that provide data supporting your claims.
coherence cohesion
Ensure paragraph transitions are smoother. Try to use a variety of cohesive devices to improve the flow between paragraphs.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt well and provides practical solutions to the identified problems.
coherence cohesion
The introduction presents the topic clearly and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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