IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that in a city, the best way to travel is by car, while other people argue that bicycles are a better way of travelling in a city. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Some
people
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 say that motor
cars
Use synonyms
 are a convenient option for driving near a city. Others believe that bicycles are a great choice. In my opinion, bicycles are a more flexible and eco-friendly option than
cars
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. First and foremost, the cycle helps to protect the environment and
also
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 reduce carbon footprint.
For example
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,
according to
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 the Environmental Committee of the USA,
cars
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 and other vehicles contribute to 30% of
overall
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 pollution, and
this
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 can diminish to a large extent just by switching to cycles. Another issue is parking, which can require a lot of space;
however
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, the cycle can be fitted in a small space. Not just that, it would be helpful in the preservation of petrol and diesel, which are going to be extinct in a few decades.
Moreover
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, using bicycles would allow
people
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 to be fit and active. To illustrate
this
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, riding a bicycle is a strenuous exercise that requires a healthy heart and strong thigh muscles. If riding a bike is becoming a habit,
then
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 that will
also
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 benefit our physical body by improving cardiopulmonary health.
However
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, the use of
cars
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 will bring contradictory results like increasing the rate of obese
people
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 and a few of our citizens dying
due to
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 air pollution. In conclusion, in the convenience race,
people
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 forget to value nature. A car gives comfort to humans but harms nature, releasing toxic fumes into the environment. In my view, a bicycle is a natural, friendly product, and it should be part of our routine.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and that ideas flow logically from one to the next. You can use linking words and phrases to help with this.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more fully in each paragraph. Provide additional examples or evidence to support your main points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to provide a sense of completeness to the response.
task achievement
Relevant and specific examples are provided, such as the statistics from the Environmental Committee of the USA, to support the points made about the environmental impact of cars.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • congestion
  • pollution
  • maintenance
  • eco-friendly
  • infrastructure
  • physical health
  • suitable
  • weather conditions
  • traffic
  • repair costs
  • cycling infrastructure
  • fuel costs
  • carrying heavy loads
  • physical limitations
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