You work for a company. You have seen some information online about a training course that would be useful for your work, but it is very expensive. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter • why you would like to attend this course • describe the content of this course and its benefits suggest how him/her could help you

#work #company #information #course #manager #content

Dear Edward, I am writing

this

letter to seek permission to attend the Advanced Digital Marketing course, which is

desgined

Correct your spelling

designed

to implement precise marketing strategy by data mining in customer performance. It is a five-day intensive program offered by the Fudan Business School and is scheduled to start on Monday 18th of

this

month.

This

plan is

most

Correct quantifier usage

apply

show examples

essential for our company because our sales performance has been declining in recent months. I ensure the modules throughout the course are geared to our needs

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since we identified that the root cause mainly lies in the existing customer group. After the training, we should be able to apply the methodologies

accordingly

in the solution and boost the sales revenue. As the training is full-time, it would be greatly appreciated if you could avail me a five-day paid leave till 22nd of

this

month, I believe my absence would not affect the normal functioning of the department, as most of my colleagues have agreed not to take leave during these days. I look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely, Antoine

Submitted by huaixiangdong on Wed Dec 13 2023

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coherence cohesion

For coherence, ensure that you connect your ideas more smoothly. Try using linking words to establish better flow between sentences and paragraphs.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of your letter are suitable for the context, maintaining the appropriate formality for writing to a manager.

coherence cohesion

Each paragraph should focus on a single idea; however, be mindful of transitions to maintain cohesion throughout the letter.

task achievement

Be sure to answer all parts of the writing task fully. While you mentioned the course and its benefits, you could have elaborated more on how precisely it aligns with your company's needs and your current role within the company.

task achievement

Your writing tone is formal and respectful which is suitable when addressing a manager about a professional development opportunity.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

180 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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