IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph above shows the stock price of four technology companies between 2011 and 2016.

The graph above shows the stock price of four technology companies between 2011 and 2016.
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The line graph displays the
valuation
Use synonyms
 of stocks of four major tech corporations i.e.,
Facebook
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, Google,
Appple
Correct your spelling
Apple
 and
Yahoo
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, over the span of 5
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
stock
Use synonyms
 values of two technology companies, Apple and
Facebook
Use synonyms
 were highest in 2012 and 2016 respectively.
Linking Words
Also
Add a comma
Also,
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 the share
value
Use synonyms
 of Google was
lowest
Correct article usage
the lowest
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 yet consistent throughout the
years
Use synonyms
 mentioned,
however
Linking Words
, the
market
Use synonyms
value
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 of
Yahoo
Use synonyms
 kept on declining after 2011. In the initial
years
Use synonyms
 highest valuations in the
stock
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market
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 were captured by two major
tech oriented
Add a hyphen
tech-oriented
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company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 i.e.,
Facebook
Use synonyms
 and
Yahoo
Use synonyms
 with
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
share prices of
5,000
Rephrase
approximately 5,000
show examples
 and 11,000 respectively,
while
Linking Words
 the share
value
Use synonyms
 of
Facebook
Use synonyms
 increased by 10,500 approximately in 2012 and
this
Linking Words
 trend continued till 2016 with a
valuation
Use synonyms
 of around 19,000,
on the other
Linking Words
hand
Add the comma(s)
hand,
show examples
 the
stock
Use synonyms
value
Use synonyms
 of
Yahoo
Use synonyms
 declined throughout the
years
Use synonyms
.
Market
Use synonyms
valuation
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 of Google's
stock
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price
Use synonyms
 remained constant and
this
Linking Words
 pattern remained
same
Correct article usage
the same
show examples
 till 2016 with a
stock
Use synonyms
price
Use synonyms
 of around 1,000,
however
Linking Words
, the major
market
Use synonyms
 capture in 2012 was of Apple's
stock
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price
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, as Apple noted a remarkable surge in the
price
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 of their
stock
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 with a
valuation
Use synonyms
 of more than 30,000 which was the highest among all other corporations.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words valuation, facebook, yahoo, years, stock, value, market, price with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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