Some people say that art subjects such as music, drama and creative writing era an essential part of education, and every school should include them in its syllabus. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give your opinion and examples form your own experience.

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Teaching process has been improved nowadays, and particular tools have been added to inhence the system.
Art
is one of crucial aspect that are applying in the schools. Some people agree with that and others are not . In
this
essay I shall elaborate on , and I shall give my point of view.
To begin
with,
according to
folk who believe that
art
is has a beneficial part in
student
syllabus .
Art
such
as music and creative, inhence the
student
in their
school
life in confidence
as well as
makes them to be success in their work
also
.
Hence
, it is a way in drainage the negative energy .
Moreover
, it's consider as a muscle relaxant .
consequently
, the mood has been improved .
Additionally
,
this
idea of applying the
art
at
this
kid's age is a way of describing the skills.
For example
: Smart
school
in Iraq has been applied
this
idea in the
school
's system which makes alot of pupils professional in drawing and playing piano.
On the other hand
, some people believe that the presence of the
art
subject in the
school
's sullababus will distraction the
student
away from their lessons .It is clear to say
this
will interfering with the time of the
student
.
For example
: some schools witnesses several students have been spended all the day in drawing . To sum it up, some people prefer
art
as a lesson in their kids schools ,
furthermore
, they encourge
this
idea because they want thier sons/daughters to be creative and know everything in the life's aspect .
While
, other dislike
this
point because they see it is a time consuming.
According to
my opinion I concur with the thought of applying
art
in the kids
school
's life, and dispense it in a right way.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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grammar
Work on grammar and sentence structure to improve clarity. There are numerous grammatical errors that can confuse the reader and disrupt the flow of ideas.
content
Provide more specific examples to support your points. This will help to make your argument more convincing.
structure
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structure
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content
You have attempted to address both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster creativity
  • problem-solving
  • emotional intelligence
  • holistic development
  • academic-oriented curriculum
  • diverse learning styles
  • inclusive education
  • career paths
  • creative industry
  • public speaking skills
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