some people think that competition at work, at school and in daily life is a good thing. others believe that we should try cooperative more, rather than competing against each other
One group
individuals
consider that competition
in education, at job careers, and other fields is good. While
others say we should more cooperative and pay attention to collaboratively working.
Businessmen say competition
leads to development. If children bring up in comparative enveriment would they never have sense of fear when they faced with challenges. this
guides them to make a decision independently, approach to challenges and problems with creatively ways. also
some benifits of competation.Innovation and Efficiency: Competition
drives individuals
to innovate and find more efficient ways to achieve their goals. Skill Development: It encourages people to continuously improve their skills and knowledge to outperform others. Motivation: The desire to win can be a powerful motivator, pushing individuals
to set and achieve higher goals. Performance Improvement: Competitive environments can lead to higher performance levels as individuals
strive to be the best.
Merit-Based Recognition: Competition
often rewards those who excel, providing recognition and opportunities based on merit. Magnus Carlsen, the world chess champion,continually improves his skills through rigorous competition
against other top players.These examples demonstrate how competition
among individuals
can lead to significant personal, professional, and societal benefits, driving progress and excellence in various fields.
On the other hand
, cooperation fosters social cohesion and empathy. Children, who are taught to cooperate, learn the value of teamwork, communication, and compromise. These skills are crucial for navigating interpersonal relationships, resolving conflicts, and contributing positively to their communities. Moreover
, cooperation promotes a sense of collective responsibility, encouraging minors to support and uplift one another rather than solely focusing on individual achievement. For example
, children who participate in sports like football or basketball, need to pass the ball, strategize, and cooperate to score points.
These studies offer valuable insights into the dynamics of competition
and collaboration, highlighting the contexts in which each approach is most effective and the potential benefits and drawbacks associated with them.Submitted by [email protected] on
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introduction conclusion
Work on improving your introduction and conclusion to give the essay a more complete and polished feel. A clear introduction should introduce both viewpoints and a strong conclusion should summarize the main points discussed.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to spelling and grammatical errors such as 'comparative enveriment' which should be 'competitive environment', and 'benifits' which should be 'benefits'. These mistakes can detract from the clarity of your ideas.
logical structure
Make sure to structure your paragraphs clearly. Each paragraph should have a clear topic sentence and supporting details. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant examples, such as mentioning 'Magnus Carlsen' and children playing sports, which effectively support your points.
supported main points
Some points were well-supported, which strengthens your argument. For example, discussing how competition can lead to innovation and efficiency.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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