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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the results of a survey about people’s coffee and tea buying and drinking habits in five Australian cities. Summerise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart illustrates the habit of drinking in five cities, Sydney, Melbourne,
Brisbane
Use synonyms
,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, and Hobart in Australia. At the same time, the vertical axis represents the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of city residents.
Overall
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 chart has three different drinking habits, buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
, purchasing instant
coffee
Use synonyms
, and going to a café for
coffee
Use synonyms
 or tea in the
last
Linking Words
 4 weeks.
In addition
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of people visiting
coffee
Use synonyms
 shops to drink exceeds 50% in these five cities.
In contrast
Linking Words
, buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 has a lower proportion, and does not surpass 45% in all urban regions.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, in Sydney and Melbourne, there is a significant difference between going to a café and other items, approximately accounting for 61% and 63.5%, respectively.
Subsequently
Linking Words
, purchasing instant and fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 has a narrow distinction in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, particularly in
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, and the two options roughly have an equivalent
percentage
Use synonyms
 and constitute 50%.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
percentage
Use synonyms
 of buying fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 represents a considerable discrepancy compared to the other two items in
Brisbane
Use synonyms
,
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, and Hobart. In
Brisbane
Use synonyms
 and
Adelaide
Use synonyms
, both percentages of purchasing fresh
coffee
Use synonyms
 only make up about 34%. As for Hobart,
this
Linking Words
percentage
Use synonyms
 still does not exceed 10%;
however
Linking Words
, it can approximately account for 31%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words brisbane, adelaide, percentage, coffee with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "represents" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 6 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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