The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.
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The line chart compares the numbers of members
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
various
activites
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activities
in a social
centre
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of
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in
show examples
Melbourne, Australia, looking especially from 2000 to 2020. The
centre
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remained
cohort
Correct article usage
a cohort
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who
participanted
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participated
film
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in film
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club
Use synonyms
steadily between 60 and 65
people
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over the two decades, illustrating the most popular activity in the
centre
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. The martial arts had the second most
people
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to attend, remained steady at 35 members over 20 years, but was overtaken by the table tennis
club
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since
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in
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2015. The amateur dramatics
club
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experienced a decrease trend from 20
people
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to less
10
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than 10
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people
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overall
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
, following an ephemeral increase from 2000 to 2005. It is noticeable that the most growth activity in the
centre
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was table tennis,
increased
Correct pronoun usage
which increased
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from 15
people
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to over 50
people
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rapidly over the 20 years. The musical performances started
from
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in
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2005 unlikely others,
however
Linking Words
, increased to around 20
people
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in 2020, indicating
a
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an
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evident
protential
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potential
.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the film
club
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was preponderate
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was preponderated
was preponderating
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in
this
Linking Words
soical
Correct your spelling
social
certre
Correct your spelling
centre
, but most others extended over
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
20 years.
Submitted by Timothy on

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, club, people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • participants
  • social centre
  • comparison
  • trends
  • consistently popular
  • gained popularity
  • lost popularity
  • community interest
  • availability of facilities
  • social factors
  • economic factors
  • external events
  • economic downturns
  • health crises
  • demographic changes
  • aging population
  • marketing
  • community outreach programs
  • participation rates
  • Melbourne
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