The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

#information #numbers #participants #activities #centre #melbourne #australia #period

The line chart compares the numbers of members

into

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various

activites

Correct your spelling

activities

in a social

centre

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Melbourne, Australia, looking especially from 2000 to 2020. The

centre

remained

cohort

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a cohort

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who

participanted

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participated

film

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in film

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club

steadily between 60 and 65

people

over the two decades, illustrating the most popular activity in the

centre

. The martial arts had the second most

people

to attend, remained steady at 35 members over 20 years, but was overtaken by the table tennis

club

since

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2015. The amateur dramatics

club

experienced a decrease trend from 20

people

to less

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than 10

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people

overall

although

, following an ephemeral increase from 2000 to 2005. It is noticeable that the most growth activity in the

centre

was table tennis,

increased

Correct pronoun usage

which increased

show examples

from 15

people

to over 50

people

rapidly over the 20 years. The musical performances started

from

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2005 unlikely others,

however

, increased to around 20

people

in 2020, indicating

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evident

protential

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potential

To sum up

, the film

club

was preponderate

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was preponderated

was preponderating

show examples

this

soical

Correct your spelling

social

certre

Correct your spelling

centre

, but most others extended over

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

20 years.

Submitted by Timothy on Sat Jul 27 2024

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words centre, club, people with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

170 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

participants
social centre
comparison
trends
consistently popular
gained popularity
lost popularity
community interest
availability of facilities
social factors
economic factors
external events
economic downturns
health crises
demographic changes
aging population
marketing
community outreach programs
participation rates
Melbourne

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The graph below gives information on the numbers of participants for different activities at one social centre in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020.

Technology is becoming progressively universal. In the fullness of time, classroom teachers will be totally substituted for technology. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is better to raise children in the countryside, while others think that cities offer more opportunities for a child’s development. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

As countries develop, their populations tend to live individually or in small family units. In your opinion, what are the causes and what are the effects on both individuals and society as a whole.

In many countries around the world , rural people are moving to cities , so the population in the countryside is decreasing.

Nuclear power is used both for weapons of mass destruction and the production of cheap, clean energy. Do the advantages of nuclear power outweigh the disadvantages?