Nowadays many people wear western clothes rather than their traditional clothes. What are the reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development?
Now, there are a lot of
people
who wear western
Capitalize word
Western
clothes
than their traditional clothes
. Obviously, globalization has influence
on it. Sometimes, it is completely fine if Add an article
an influence
people
use
Verb problem
wear
western
Capitalize word
Western
clothes
because more suitable and comfort
to wear. On the other sides, it is important to keep the culture of traditional Replace the word
comfortable
clothes
still alive among the citizens.
Globalization possible people
to know the newest collection of Change preposition
for people
clothes
. In today's society, they want to look stylish and trendy. Clothes
like suits, crop-top
, short pants, etc are culture from western society. Having said that, they started to leave traditional Correct your spelling
crop tops
clothes
to wear daily. For instance
, people
only wear traditional clothes
on certain ceremonials. Because they think that traditonal
Correct your spelling
traditional
clothes
does
not modern at all. Verb problem
are
Therefore
, they prefer use
western Verb problem
to wear
clothes
than
traditional Rephrase
rather than
clothes
one
.
Unfortunately, it is a negative development since Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
forget where they belong. Traditional clothes
can be represent
how proud the citizens to Change the verb form
represent
use
it
. In the worst case, they do not want anymore to Correct pronoun usage
them
use
traditional Verb problem
wear
clothes
due to
too
old. Add a missing verb
being too
Instead
, nowadays, traditional clothes
have been adapted to today's fashion. For instance
, batik (traditional clothes
in Indonesia) was made to be more fresh, so people
can wear it in
many occasions. Change preposition
on
Thus
, people
do not have to be worry
if their concern is traditional Change the verb form
worry
clothes
not applicable in
many events.
In conclusion, globalization become Change preposition
to
a
main reason why Correct article usage
the
this
trend can happen. People
feel more cool to use
western
Capitalize word
Western
clothes
. That is
why, it is a bad thing on account of people
not appreciate their own culture.Submitted by wishmeluck on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay covers the central points of the task but could benefit from a more detailed and comprehensive response. For example, consider exploring additional reasons for the shift towards Western clothing and further discussing both positive and negative aspects.
coherence cohesion
While the ideas in your essay are clear, the logical structure can be improved. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making the argument easier to follow.
general
There were minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing that affected the readability and clarity of your essay. A thorough review and edit for grammatical accuracy would help improve this.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You've provided specific examples to support your points, such as the mention of Batik in Indonesia.
task achievement
The central argument is clear, and the essay stays focused on the topic.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?