Nowadays many people wear western clothes rather than their traditional clothes. What are the reasons for it? Is it a positive or negative development?
Now, there are a lot of
people
who wear Use synonyms
western
Capitalize word
Western
clothes
than their traditional Use synonyms
clothes
. Obviously, globalization has Use synonyms
influence
on it. Sometimes, it is completely fine if Add an article
an influence
people
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
use
Verb problem
wear
western
Capitalize word
Western
clothes
because more suitable and Use synonyms
comfort
to wear. On the other sides, it is important to keep the culture of traditional Replace the word
comfortable
clothes
still alive among the citizens.
Globalization possible Use synonyms
Use synonyms
people
to know the newest collection of Change preposition
for people
clothes
. In today's society, they want to look stylish and trendy. Use synonyms
Clothes
like suits, Use synonyms
crop-top
, short pants, etc are culture from western society. Having said that, they started to leave traditional Correct your spelling
crop tops
clothes
to wear daily. Use synonyms
For instance
, Linking Words
people
only wear traditional Use synonyms
clothes
on certain ceremonials. Because they think that Use synonyms
traditonal
Correct your spelling
traditional
clothes
Use synonyms
does
not modern at all. Verb problem
are
Therefore
, they prefer Linking Words
Use synonyms
use
western Verb problem
to wear
clothes
Use synonyms
than
traditional Rephrase
rather than
clothes
Use synonyms
one
.
Unfortunately, it is a negative development since Correct pronoun usage
apply
people
forget where they belong. Traditional Use synonyms
clothes
can Use synonyms
be represent
how proud the citizens to Change the verb form
represent
use
Use synonyms
it
. In the worst case, they do not want anymore to Correct pronoun usage
them
Use synonyms
use
traditional Verb problem
wear
clothes
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
too
old. Add a missing verb
being too
Instead
, nowadays, traditional Linking Words
clothes
have been adapted to today's fashion. Use synonyms
For instance
, batik (traditional Linking Words
clothes
in Indonesia) was made to be more fresh, so Use synonyms
people
can wear it Use synonyms
in
many occasions. Change preposition
on
Thus
, Linking Words
people
do not have to Use synonyms
be worry
if their concern is traditional Change the verb form
worry
clothes
not applicable Use synonyms
in
many events.
In conclusion, globalization become Change preposition
to
a
main reason why Correct article usage
the
this
trend can happen. Linking Words
People
feel more cool to Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
western
Capitalize word
Western
clothes
. Use synonyms
That is
why, it is a bad thing on account of Linking Words
people
not appreciate their own culture.Use synonyms
Submitted by wishmeluck on
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task achievement
Your essay covers the central points of the task but could benefit from a more detailed and comprehensive response. For example, consider exploring additional reasons for the shift towards Western clothing and further discussing both positive and negative aspects.
coherence cohesion
While the ideas in your essay are clear, the logical structure can be improved. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea, making the argument easier to follow.
general
There were minor grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing that affected the readability and clarity of your essay. A thorough review and edit for grammatical accuracy would help improve this.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
You've provided specific examples to support your points, such as the mention of Batik in Indonesia.
task achievement
The central argument is clear, and the essay stays focused on the topic.
Your opinion
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