IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

People living in the 21st century have a better life quality than people who lived in previous times. to whta extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #st #century #life #quality #times #whta
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Currently, technology has been developing really fast and with
this
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 rate, we will be able to see in the future
people
Use synonyms
 have a life
that is
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 really different from new.
Furthermore
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, most
people
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 believe
people
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 who live in the 21st century have a better lifestyle
instead
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 of prior generations. I subscribe to
this
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 idea for populations who live in districts which are following changes, not
people
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 who live in a band
that is
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 in Africa because not only technological advancements but
also
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 the health system has been massively evolving. On the one hand, today most
people
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 have access to Technological advancements;
moreover
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, it has a lot of merits.
Firstly
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,
people
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 can travel as soon as possible with the lowest cost. Namely, we can travel by plane, train, and other public or private transportation that are really fast and comfortable.
Secondly
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, we can fill our leisure time with a range of gadgets.
For example
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, most children prefer to spend their free time by computer games.
Thirdly
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, we would work and have a comminute with other
people
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 who are living in other regions very nice
due to
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 the fact that we are relayed by the Internet.
On the other hand
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, these days, the health industry has been altering enormously from the past inasmuch as scientists can find new drugs which help us to avoid illness or become more healthy on the other side doctors have more knowledge than past owing to the fact that they have a lot of tools which help them
such
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 as X-ray, blood test ,and other things;
as a result
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, international inhabitants who are sick can trat their ill with satisfaction result. To illustrate, today most
people
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 who have diverse ills like cancer, heart attacks, and other matters are treated and they become healthy
people
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.
To sum up
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, today, it is crucial that a range of things which help us to solve our questions are more than past;
hence
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,In my opinion, these generations have better lives than past.
Submitted by maryamkazemi968 on

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task response
While your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, some points could be elaborated upon further to give a more thorough argument. Consider providing more specific examples and evidence to enhance the strength of your arguments.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear logical structure with introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion; however, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try using more linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
task response
Your essay provides a complete response to the prompt, addressing both technological advancements and improvements in the health system.
task response
Your ideas are clear and you make relevant points regarding the differences in quality of life between the 21st century and previous times.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • quality of life
  • technological innovations
  • life expectancy
  • preventive measures
  • educational opportunities
  • online learning platforms
  • globalization
  • economic conditions
  • social issues
  • gender equality
  • human rights
  • environmental resources
  • climate change
  • leisure activities
  • cultural experiences
  • mental health awareness
  • well-being
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