In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing What do you think are the main causes of crime How can we deal with those causes

Recently, in many
countries
,
people
suffer
Wrong verb form
have suffered
show examples
about
Change preposition
from
show examples
the subject of
crime
. Several researchers
prouve
Correct your spelling
prove
that the amount of
crime
is increasing. These researchers explain that
it
Correct pronoun usage
there
show examples
exist numerous reasons for
this
phenomenon. In the
begin
Replace the word
beginning
show examples
, the international economic crisis was the first cause. Indeed, the major consequence of
this
crisis is the higher prices of products and services in many
countries
.
Then
, the revenue of many
people
is not sufficient for baying their products and services for their daily affairs.
Consequently
, the simple way to have money is to be a thief.
Such
, in many
countries
, the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of
thief
Correct your spelling
theft
show examples
crime
Fix the agreement mistake
crimes
show examples
on public transport
is increase
Change the verb form
is increasing
is increased
show examples
.
Secondly
, in several
countries
, numerous jobs require a minimum
of
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apply
show examples
educational
level
. At the same time, the number of
people
how
Correct word choice
who
show examples
has
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have
show examples
educational
level
Fix the agreement mistake
levels
show examples
is low.
Such
, in African
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
, many
people
don't
found
Wrong verb form
find
show examples
a job because
the
Change the word
their
show examples
educational
level
was
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
low.
Then
, the only way to have money is to
realise
Verb problem
commit
show examples
a
crime
.
Moreover
, the
government
politics in many
countries
was not efficient and the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of poor
people
increased.
For example
, several governments make foreigners work numerous jobs with low salaries. The local
people
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
not
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
job because
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
refuse to work with the same salary.
Finally
, governments
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
obliged to propose
solution
Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
show examples
for
this
problem. Indeed, it is important for the
government
to participate in the financial cost of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
daily life.
Such
, propose specific
subvention
Fix the agreement mistake
subventions
show examples
for some
essentials
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essential
show examples
products and services.
Besides
,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
can propose public
project
Fix the agreement mistake
projects
show examples
and the workers are only local
people
in the
countries
.
Such
,
to build
Change preposition
as building
show examples
a hospital or hotel with local support for social communities. In sum, the high
level
of amount of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crime
is the consequence of terrible
action
Fix the agreement mistake
actions
show examples
and
politic
Correct your spelling
politics
show examples
of
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
and
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
the same time.
Submitted by rabebhamdi on

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language
Review grammar and word choice to avoid minor mistakes. For example, 'prouve' should be 'prove', 'it exist' should be 'there are', and 'baying' should be 'buying'.
logic
Clarify and strengthen the connection between ideas and points. The link between the mentioned 'international economic crisis' and crime could be made more explicit with supporting data or concrete examples.
specific examples
Add more specific examples to back up your claims. For instance, referencing a specific African country and providing data on educational levels and unemployment could make your argument stronger.
conclusion
A better conclusion could summarize the mentioned points more effectively and suggest more detailed solutions.
content
The essay attempts to provide a complete response by discussing both causes of crime and potential solutions.
structure
Ideas are presented logically and follow a reasonable structure.
organization
An introduction and a conclusion are clearly present.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
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