The average standard of people's health is likely to be lower in the future than it is now. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
There is an argument that individuals'
health
status will deteriorate in the future
. I agree with this
statement because of many problems people encounter nowadays, such
as bad lifestyle
and environmental issues.
People currently tend to have a sedentary lifestyle. They usually don't do much physical activity or eat properly. Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
For instance
, after a long working day, they prefer to relax in front of a TV show, play video games, or scroll through their phones. Moreover
, they tend to purchase fast food on their way home or heat up ready-to-eat frozen meals instead
of cooking at home. As a result
of a lack of exercise and eating food with no nutritional value, they could be subjected to many health
problems, such
as heart disease and obesity. The aforementioned trends will continue as the world heads towards digitalization. Subsequently
, employees will sit more doing their jobs in front of their computers or even work from home, with less physical movement and more junk food consumption. This
will lead to an increase in the disease rate in the future
.
Another aspect that will affect people's health
is the environmental issues they currently face, such
as pollution and deforestation. Air pollution, caused by carbon emissions from cars and factories, has a negative impact on health
, as it might lead to lung cancer and other related diseases. Furthermore
, the number of forests, the natural air filters, continues to decrease due to
deforestation, causing an increase in carbon levels in the air, which in turn would increase the burden on the health
of future
generations.
In conclusion, I believe that our current sedentary lifestyle and environmental issues will negatively impact our future
health
.Submitted by Lilly
on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
You have provided a clear response to the task and covered relevant points regarding lifestyle and environmental issues. However, adding more examples and expanding on the secondary argument would strengthen your essay.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is good, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. However, paying more attention to the flow between ideas within paragraphs could further enhance coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-defined, providing a clear viewpoint and summarizing the essay effectively.
task achievement
The main points are well-supported with relevant examples, making your argument strong and convincing.