Some people say that the main environmental problem in our time is the loss of particular species of animals and plants.Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Ecosystem
Add an article
The ecosystem
An ecosystem
show examples
is a significant matter which is
threating
Correct your spelling
threatening
our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
nowadays, and some folks say the serious point in
this
problem is the lack of specific species of
animals
and
plants
while
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
believe
there
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
are not
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crucial . In
this
essay
Add a comma
essay,
show examples
I shall elaborate on
as well as
I shall give my point of view.
To begin
with, the opinion of
lossing
Correct your spelling
losing
these important creatures will affect
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the equilibrium of the
ecosystem
consequently
, it
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
definitely
impacting on
Wrong verb form
impacts
show examples
the balance of the environment,
for example
, the farmers notice the extinction of owls
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the farm yard leading to
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
number of the rats inside the field.
This
is meaning
Wrong verb form
means
show examples
that the
lossing
Correct your spelling
loss
of
particular
Correct article usage
a particular
show examples
creature will directly
affecting on
Wrong verb form
affect
show examples
the other.
On the other hand
,
according
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people who believe that those factors don't have any impression on the environment
thus
, they
thought
Wrong verb form
think
show examples
that there is another factor
such
as the Ozone whole
as a result
,
it's
Correct your spelling
its
show examples
reverse action in
globle
Correct your spelling
global
warming
for example
, the data analysis recorded the highly increasing in temperature nowadays comparing to the previous 10 years ago,
furthermore
, the impact on the rivers which is affecting on the
plants
as well as
the
animals
.
Therefore
, the
ecosystem
will
also
be in
dangerous
Replace the word
danger
show examples
. To sum it up, the
ecosystem
problems
Fix the agreement mistake
problem
show examples
is a controversial issue .
Hence
, some people
says
Change the verb form
say
show examples
the cause is
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the lack of particular
plants
moreover
, extinction of the
animals
.
while
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
doesn't believe.
According to
Change preposition
In
show examples
,my opinion I see the
ecosystem
or the environmental problems are a controversial matter
thus
, it
dose effect
Correct your spelling
is affected
show examples
by many factors
furthermore
, the
animals
and
plants
.
Submitted by sarah.baghdad20 on

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement in the introduction is clearly defined and straightforward. This will make it easier for the reader to understand what your essay will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical structure of your paragraphs. Each paragraph should focus on a single main idea and develop it fully before moving on to the next point.
task achievement
Make sure to elaborate on your points, providing detailed explanations and avoiding vague statements. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance the connections between your ideas and ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs. This will improve the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
Increase the use of specific and relevant examples to back up your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and concrete.
task achievement
Take care of grammar and vocabulary use. Errors can make your ideas less clear and reduce the overall effectiveness of your communication.
task achievement
You have addressed both views and given your own opinion, which is essential for this type of essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to provide structure.
task achievement
You have included some examples to support your points, which is good for illustrating your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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