Computers are often argued to be the most important invention of the last hundred years. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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There is no doubt that the
computer
is an essential item in modern life. Some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
suggest that
computers
are the most important innovation in the
last
century.
This
essay totally agrees with
this
opinion because they allow people to calculate a bigger range of evidence and they become the main tools to support the development of other fields. First and foremost, after the
computer
was invented, people could
computer
big
data
in an amazing way. Before that, scientists had limited the ability to access the
data
due to
the capacity of existing tools, so it took
numerous
Correct word choice
a long
show examples
time to achieve the final result of calculations. After the invention of the
computer
, people became able to manage more and more
data
and
this
speed is increasing significantly compared to the past.
Computers
support a lot in computing the result of research.
For example
, in the past, scientists took three months to
computer
the energy which is needed to launch the rocket.
In contrast
,
computers
can manage it within an hour.
Moreover
,
computers
help a wide range of other industries by providing analytics
data
.
This
trend can support companies to make suitable decisions
according to
big
data
.
For instance
, a Japanese convenience store collects all purchase
data
and analyses it immediately, which creates supporting
data
for managers to think about their business plan. These records consist of 100,000
data
in a single day, so it is impossible to calculate manually.
Consequently
, the
computer
plays a vital role in making companies do more efficiently and effectively ways. In conclusion, there are clear benefits for
computers
. We rely on them in lots of fields in society.
Submitted by nao.bb0820 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear response to the topic and you effectively provide relevant examples to support your points. However, you could enhance your argument with more specific and detailed evidence or personal experiences.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically organized, and the paragraphs flow well from one point to the next. However, some minor grammatical errors slightly affect the readability. Consider proofreading for grammatical accuracy to ensure each sentence flows smoothly.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented and effectively summarize the main points of your essay.
supported main points
You provide clear main points and use relevant examples effectively to support your argument.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • invention
  • revolutionized
  • industries
  • communication
  • connectivity
  • productivity
  • efficiency
  • advancements
  • scientific research
  • technology
  • access
  • information
  • learn
  • limitations
  • disadvantages
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