People Born in rural areas move to big cities when they become adult. What are the reasons for this? Is this posotive trend or negative trend?

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There is no doubt, that mature people from
rurar
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rural
districts move to
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
show examples
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
show examples
for living
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to live
show examples
such
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as
megapolicies
Correct your spelling
megapolises
mega policies
. In
this
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essay
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essay,
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I will write reasons
of
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for
show examples
the phenomenon and will explain my opinion why it is
positive
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a positive
show examples
trend.
To begin
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with, as the cause of village dwellers relocation to big
cities
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, the ability
of getting
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to get
show examples
higher
education
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will be considered.
For instance
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, in Kazakhstan,
country
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the country
show examples
where I live, you will not find any
univercities
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universities
in
rurar
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rural
areas and adults from those places go to
cities
Use synonyms
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
study. It is hard to deny, that
education
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is important, it may give professional development,
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
is why individuals may make
decision
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the decision
a decision
show examples
of changing
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to change
show examples
their homeplace.
In addition
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, the factor of finding a better job in
cities
Use synonyms
could be the most important for rural people.
Comperatively
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Comparatively
to 2-3 employers in
vilagies
Correct your spelling
villages
,
megapolisies
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megapolis
could have thousands of companies which look for employees and can offer better salaries.
As a result
Linking Words
,
education
Use synonyms
and salaries attract locals to give up their homes and try their luck in big
cities
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. I
sure
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am sure
show examples
that the phenomenon has many
advantagies
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advantages
and one of them is
the
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apply
show examples
increasing productivity. To illustrate
this
Linking Words
, the economics of Japan, where almost 99
percantage
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percentage
of
population
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the population
show examples
live
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lives
show examples
in urban areas, is more effective than that of Pakistan with near to 60
percentage
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per cent
show examples
of
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the rurals
show examples
rurals
Correct your spelling
rural
.
This
Linking Words
is because, in urban companies which can focus on IT or manufacturing comparatively to
agricalture
Correct your spelling
agriculture
in
villigies
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villages
,
labor
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labour
show examples
is different, less effective and low paid in
vilagies
Correct your spelling
villages
and more efficient in
cities
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. The second benefit is the
sourse
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source
course
of work hands for enterprises, which may constitute the majority of a country's GDP, ensuring
economics
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economic
show examples
development. In conclusion, I consider that
,
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apply
show examples
the ability to
achive
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achieve
education
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and
perspective
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a perspective
show examples
job may persuade locals
move
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to move
show examples
to big
cities
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.
However
Linking Words
, the impact of it on
a
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apply
show examples
society is
favorable
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favourable
show examples
; the more productive economics, the rising
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
GDP, and other positive
consequencies
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consequences
of urbanisation are
advantagies
Correct your spelling
advantages
of the phenomenon.
Submitted by sergeybelov83 on

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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, outlining reasons for the migration and explaining your opinion. However, make sure to proofread and correct minor grammatical errors and ensure consistent use of terms such as 'rural' instead of 'rurar' or 'vilagies'. Better use of vocabulary could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, it could benefit from clearer paragraph transitions. Each paragraph should connect seamlessly to the next. Consider using transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay remains on topic throughout and addresses both parts of the question comprehensively.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as the situation in Kazakhstan, which support your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your opinion and summarize the main points of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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