People Born in rural areas move to big cities when they become adult. What are the reasons for this? Is this posotive trend or negative trend?
There is no doubt, that mature people from
rurar
districts move to Correct your spelling
rural
bigger
Add an article
a bigger
place
Fix the agreement mistake
places
for living
Change preposition
to live
such
as megapolicies
. In Correct your spelling
megapolises
mega policies
this
essay
I will write reasons Add a comma
essay,
of
the phenomenon and will explain my opinion why it is Change preposition
for
positive
trend.
Add an article
a positive
To begin
with, as the cause of village dwellers relocation to big cities
, the ability of getting
higher Replace the preposition
to get
education
will be considered. For instance
, in Kazakhstan, country
where I live, you will not find any Add an article
the country
univercities
in Correct your spelling
universities
rurar
areas and adults from those places go to Correct your spelling
rural
cities
for
study. It is hard to deny, that Change preposition
to
education
is important, it may give professional development, that
is why individuals may make Correct pronoun usage
which
decision
Add an article
the decision
a decision
of changing
their homeplace. Change preposition
to change
In addition
, the factor of finding a better job in cities
could be the most important for rural people. Comperatively
to 2-3 employers in Correct your spelling
Comparatively
vilagies
, Correct your spelling
villages
megapolisies
could have thousands of companies which look for employees and can offer better salaries. Correct your spelling
megapolis
As a result
, education
and salaries attract locals to give up their homes and try their luck in big cities
.
I sure
that the phenomenon has many Add a missing verb
am sure
advantagies
and one of them is Correct your spelling
advantages
the
increasing productivity. To illustrate Correct article usage
apply
this
, the economics of Japan, where almost 99 percantage
of Correct your spelling
percentage
population
Add an article
the population
live
in urban areas, is more effective than that of Pakistan with near to 60 Correct subject-verb agreement
lives
percentage
of Replace the word
per cent
Correct article usage
the rurals
rurals
. Correct your spelling
rural
This
is because, in urban companies which can focus on IT or manufacturing comparatively to agricalture
in Correct your spelling
agriculture
villigies
, Correct your spelling
villages
labor
is different, less effective and low paid in Change the spelling
labour
vilagies
and more efficient in Correct your spelling
villages
cities
. The second benefit is the sourse
of work hands for enterprises, which may constitute the majority of a country's GDP, ensuring Correct your spelling
source
course
economics
development.
In conclusion, I consider thatReplace the word
economic
,
the ability to Remove the comma
apply
achive
Correct your spelling
achieve
education
and perspective
job may persuade locals Correct article usage
a perspective
move
to big Add the particle
to move
cities
. However
, the impact of it on a
society is Remove the article
apply
favorable
; the more productive economics, the rising Change the spelling
favourable
of
GDP, and other positive Change preposition
apply
consequencies
of urbanisation are Correct your spelling
consequences
advantagies
of the phenomenon.Correct your spelling
advantages
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, outlining reasons for the migration and explaining your opinion. However, make sure to proofread and correct minor grammatical errors and ensure consistent use of terms such as 'rural' instead of 'rurar' or 'vilagies'. Better use of vocabulary could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a logical structure, it could benefit from clearer paragraph transitions. Each paragraph should connect seamlessly to the next. Consider using transitional phrases to help guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Your essay remains on topic throughout and addresses both parts of the question comprehensively.
task achievement
You provide specific examples, such as the situation in Kazakhstan, which support your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion clearly state your opinion and summarize the main points of your essay.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.